Bipolar disorder can distort our thinking, particularly when during a mood episode. Depression manifests with negative thoughts that only reinforce greater feelings of low self-worth and sadness. To break free from this cycle, we can learn to focus on our thoughts and redirect them in a more realistic, brighter direction.
#1 Ruminating on mistakes Ruminating mistakes, problems, and misfortunes from the past often create a heavy load of negativity. When we’re stuck in a thought loop about what we’ve done in the past, we can’t fully embrace the present moment nor move forward into the future with confidence and strength. This pattern can keep us stuck in cycles of feeling worthless, guilty, or ashamed. There is nothing innately wrong with reflecting on past experiences. It is how we can learn, grow and mature as people. However, negativity only arises when we dwell on a situation repeatedly without any genuine intention to learn, solve things or move forward. Rumination ends up feeling more like just punishing ourselves. We wish things were different, and we beat ourselves up about it. Like holding the weight of the glass for too long, rumination can end up causing us agonizing inner pain and hold us back from being our best selves and living our best lives. #2 Self-criticism We all have a voice in our heads. It talks to us all day long in the form of constant thoughts. Sometimes this voice is helpful. It alerts us to things we can do to achieve our goals or solve problems. But often, this inner voice is our own worst enemy. Sometimes it’s a downright bully. They are constantly putting us down, telling us we are not enough. That self-critical voice raises doubts, points out our flaws, and questions how we live our lives. Most of us would never speak to someone else how we talk to ourselves. Our inner critic can be incredibly harsh and mean. When we make a mistake or have a setback, it is often overdrive—bringing even more suffering to an already difficult time. All this negative self-talk and self-criticism can crush our confidence, shatter our self-esteem and make us feel unworthy and unhappy. Sometimes, we can feel so debilitated by these feelings we become depressed or even suicidal. The path to feeling true self-worth is releasing those thoughts that tell you are deficient and need to prove yourself. By doing this, you can learn to feel whole and live an authentic and meaningful life right where you are. #3 Focusing on the negativity and the problems Negative thoughts often revolve around stewing on what’s going wrong in our lives. Our attention becomes fixated on, and often exaggerates, the complex or unpleasant aspects of situations, people, and events. Here our minds will often downplay or overlook what’s going well in life and put the majority of focus on what’s not. When we’re so absorbed in what’s wrong, we cannot notice what’s right. Rather than allowing our focus to expand into what is going well at the same time, we remain only with what isn’t. Zeroing in and dwelling on unpleasant situations makes us feel more significant stress, unhappiness, frustration, anxiety, and negativity in daily life. So what can be done? What is critical, and something many people miss is that you can’t just replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If we could do that, everyone would be okay. Overcoming negativity is about changing the way we relate to our ideas and being able to steer our focus in more helpful ways. #1 Mindfully observe and let them go To overcome negative thinking, we can practice being the observer of our thoughts rather than being hooked by them. Once we learn to recognize and unhook from negative thoughts, we become free from any impact they may have on us. So, we don’t need to know how to stop negative thoughts. But, when we get hooked by our thoughts and believe our beliefs are true, the problem lies. Just beneath the waves of our thoughts, emotions, and conditioning, there is a deep ocean of awareness in each one of us. It can be a source of calm, wisdom, compassion, and incredible inner strength. It is always available to us as a place of refuge. Mindfulness is the practice of cultivating that awareness. We build our capacity to stay grounded in greater understanding through mindfulness instead of being so caught up in and tossed around by the surface waves of thoughts and emotions. #2 Practice self-compassion The most powerful skill to unwind the inner critic and cultivate inner peace is the skill of self-compassion. Self-compassion involves training our inner critic to be more like a kind and supportive inner coach. When people first hear about self-compassion, they usually have hesitations. Why? Many people believe that if they don’t crack the whip with harsh self-talk, they won’t be motivated to make changes and reach goals. However, research shows just the opposite. Self-limiting and self-critical thoughts sap our motivation and initiative. At the same time, self-compassion and kindness increase them. When we learn to be kinder to ourselves, we also become more resilient to challenges and stress. We’re more productive and able to overcome bad habits and addiction. And have more fulfilling relationships with others. Part of self-compassion is being a caretaker of your own needs. Another way to practice self-compassion is through your actions. Try focusing on doing more things that nourish you, feed your soul and genuinely make you happy rather than doing something to ‘make it in the eyes of the world’ or to get ‘likes,’ approval, or status in the eyes of others. It could be helpful to make a list of the things that recharge the batteries, relax and rejuvenate you. The things light you up, bring you joy, and feed the soul. #3 Take in the good This is not about ‘positive thinking'; it’s about noticing your direct experiences as you go about the day, like pausing to appreciate the beauty in your garden or savoring the taste of your tea. It might mean enjoying the warmth of your blankets at night or the sound of the rain. What are some good aspects in your life that you don’t usually notice? What is beautiful that you can appreciate, enjoy, and savor as you go about your day? We are not all the same, and we do not all have the same life circumstances. So, although these tools are powerful and potentially life-changing, they are not a panacea for everything and may not work the same for everyone. Negative thinking can come from various sources, including trauma and genuinely tricky life circumstances that need to change. Sometimes using these tools will not be the best solution or won’t be a complete solution on their own. Talking to a qualified therapist, taking action to change your circumstances, or standing up for your rights, values, and needs may also need to be a part of a holistic solution for you to feel your best self again.
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AuthorI was born in 1986 in Lebanon. I'm still trying to find my passion in life and in the meantime I'm learning to navigate my bipolarity and redefining stability. Archives
February 2024
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