Four years after my diagnosis, I learned to embrace the superpowers my diagnosis gave me.
We’re all too familiar with the life-trashing side of bipolar that the media paints: punks overindulging in alcohol and drugs, bouncing from deep depressions to extreme manias, with symptoms like delusions, paranoia, incoherent speeches, and agitation. But there’s another side of the coin, too: drive, ambition, energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and self-confidence. And when you’re well, those things come across positively. With medication to smooth out my mood swings and talk therapy to defuse the distorted thinking of depression, I can see some pluses to having bipolar. #1 Ambition & Creative Drive Research links creativity and bipolar disorder. I think it is unclear exactly if or how, but I’ve always been a creative spirit in my own life. That combination of creativity and drive helped me make my mark as a communications consultant. I’ve now made a career shift to program management in NGOs, but facing off against bipolar has also given me a new passion: helping others with mental illness. It’s a limiting belief that bipolar diagnosis can make or break our ability to live well. When people get the message, ‘Oh, this is a chronic illness, and you better just hunker down and try to get through life, and you’re going to be very limited in what you can do’—people internalize that message. It’s still a day-to-day struggle, for everyone who has bipolar, because of the moods, so it takes vigilance, and it does take resilience. And I guess part of that is acknowledging the positive things it brings to you. #2 Helpful Traits While it may sound surprising to put “bipolar” and “positive” in the same sentence, an analysis published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that having bipolar disorder may enhance some positive traits. The authors reviewed 81 studies that noted positive characteristics in patients with bipolar and found a strong association with five qualities: spirituality, empathy, creativity, realism, and resilience. These qualities make us better equipped for times of crisis. #3 Better with Bipolar? By accepting and wisely managing the illness, an individual with bipolar can harness elements of hypomania, such as enhanced creativity and productivity. Depressive introspection can yield deeper awareness and insights. And emotional pain can be a catalyst for personal growth. Many reasons we can do what we do is not necessarily despite having bipolar. It’s because of it. There are times when the racing thoughts, the divergent thinking, and the pressured speech can get you into a lot of trouble, but also it can help you sell things and problem-solve. If you leverage it properly and don’t go overboard, it’s incredible what you can do. #4 The Tipping Point Celebrating the “hypomanic edge” sets off alarm bells for many professionals who treat people with bipolar. There is a dangerous tendency among people with bipolar to romanticize mania. As a result, in the early stages or “lower levels” of hypomania, they find themselves more productive than usual. Then they’ll avoid treatment to protect their energized mood. I think we get into trouble when we say that bipolar people are more creative than others, and then the logical leap that people make is, ‘Well, if I go off my medications, then I’ll be creative.’ And that’s when disasters tend to occur. Elevated mood facilitates creativity only to a certain point, after which increasing mood elevation harms achievement. The tipping point marks a gateway to the scattered thinking, grandiose delusions, and destructive behaviors of mania. #5 Resilience & Bipolar Good outcomes in the face of life’s blows define resilience. Research suggests having a hyperthymic temperament provides insulation against post-traumatic stress disorder. More broadly, exposure to adversity can provide a “mental vaccine” against future hardship. Experience and education have fed the resilience that helps us weather mood shifts. I’ve been in the bottomless pits I have ever been in, some of them dug by myself, and I can climb out of them. I also know that the next thought is just a feeling. If I am suffering from depression, it’s just depression. It’s not based on anything other than maybe some chemistry. So is resilience an attribute of the hyperthymic temperament or developed through dealing with bipolar’s swings? Are traits like creativity and leadership inherently linked to the disorder or merely enhanced by elevated mood? The jury is still out on those questions. #6 A Better Outcome Positive psychological traits can contribute to a better outcome with bipolar. Spirituality, creativity, and resilience are worth cultivating as protective buffers. Having a supportive faith community or a satisfying outlet like painting or playing an instrument provides a life-affirming counterweight to mood extremes. People with bipolar disorder need to think about their personal goals for recovery—not just taking medication and only taking medication. Are there other things that could be helpful to their long-term quality of life? A particular exercise helped change my outlook recently: I wrote down all my anxieties, dreams, worries, and hopes, past, future, and present. Then I sorted the list by those I could influence that day. Finally, everything else is placed in a symbolic “universe box” and left in the hands of a higher power for the time being. I could not change people. I couldn’t change their reactions. It helped me realize how much I didn’t have control over it, which pointed me toward developing spirituality. There are so many things that we must let go of and put into the hands of a higher power, whatever that may be, and try to hang on to that sense of faith. Things will get better with time. How about you? What positive traits does bipolar disorder bring to you? Join the discussion in the community.
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I didn’t plan this – the life I have.
It’s supposed to be different. As a child, I imagined the life I was determined to have as I grew up. The life that I dreamed of having. Over the years, it took many shapes and forms, morphing each time I climbed what seemed to be a mountain top. We have expectations—lots of them. Only reality doesn’t always quite match up. Life twists and turns, changing direction to forge new paths, and things happen that don’t match the idealized playbook in our heads. Some of these things are good; some are not so good. So how do you cope when the unimaginable, the undesired, happens? How do you react when you wake up and realize that your life is not how you imagined it? It is okay to mourn the loss of the life you had planned for yourself. We all have circumstances that are not ideal. I never imagined I would find myself at times living through what I can describe as my own darkest time. My life wasn’t supposed to be like this. It can be challenging to let go of the life we think we should have. There is a sense of entitlement, a sense of “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I have/do/be what I want?” It’s okay to mourn what once was or what you hoped would be. And then you get back up on the horse. There has to come a time for acceptance. When things aren’t going well, when we are struggling with life’s curveballs, it’s too easy to spiral down the path of despair and assumes tomorrow will bring just as much pain and fatigue as many imposed limitations as today. To feel frustration, anger, and disappointment at the unfairness of it all. These emotions are natural when we experience adversity, but they are not helpful in the long term. There has to come a time for acceptance. Only then can we start to move forward and find happiness. I live with a chronic mental health condition. It hurts not to be able to do everything I used to do or want to be able to do, but I still live a fulfilled and happy life. I actively search for ways to live well, expand my life and find my purpose and joy. It comes down to my choices—balancing treatments, diet, and lifestyle with mental health management—to assist me in living beyond the diagnosis that could so easily define, so quickly limit, who I am and all that I can be. Expressing my feelings through my writing, fueling my body with nourishing food, working to the extent that I am able, and sitting outside in the sunshine—all help me find my happiness. First, to help me accept the reality of what is and minimize the lamenting, the agonizing despair, of what isn’t. Then, to move forward in the best way I can. Learning to live in the moment can be one of the most challenging things to master. I still struggle with letting go of what could have been and how life was supposed to be. I wouldn't see the good if I spent all my time focusing on everything wrong. The love and support of my family and friends. The personal growth that only my experiences could teach me. Bipolar disorder has brought me to my knees, but it has also led me on an expedition of self-awareness and improvement, survival, love, and empowerment. It has taught me to enjoy life in all its guises, the small pleasures and the big ones. Taking positive steps every day to create a healthier, happier existence is critical. Focus on what is good in your life because there is always something if you look hard enough. Also, be proactive in creating good things in your life. For example, take up a new hobby, pursue the things that matter to you, learn a new skill, or go on that weekly coffee date with your best friend so there is less room to indulge in idle and frequently destructive thoughts about things you cannot change. Celebrate your life for what it is right now, in all its colors and lack of. How about you? What did you have to let go of to make space for renewal? Join the discussion in the community. It took me years to face the reality of having bipolar disorder.
I refused to get a diagnosis for a long time. I wanted to be strong enough to handle my moods on my own. With every cycle, I’d get better, spiral into hypomania, and crash into depression. It was an act of defiance leading me down a dangerous path. After the episode in 2018, I decided to change. My path to stability after this decision has been a long one that continues today. The key was letting go of the life I had imagined to create a life I could live that would keep me stable. I choose a stable life. Bipolar management is a conscious choice I make every day. I choose healthy sleeping habits over wild nights. My concept of a good time changed. The super-late nights of drinking with exciting new people had to end, or I knew it would eventually be my stability on the line due to the risks I was taking. I’ve replaced boozy benders with hearty conversations over good meals. I worked hard at managing stress and setting healthy boundaries. I make these adjustments for my health and well-being because life is better when I choose stability. Here are some tools and strategies that worked to help me maintain stability: #1 I take a proactive approach to my mental healthcare. I research my issues, keep notes and articles, and write down my questions and feelings. I chronicle my treatment experience, documenting my reactions to medications, the cycles of my moods, and possible triggers for high or low periods. I note each medication, the dosage, and when I take it. Working with my healthcare team, I learned to manage my daily care. #2 I educate myself. I look into not only my particular mood disorders but the various medications used to treat them and the other therapies and lifestyle approaches I need to make my treatment most effective. Because I’ve researched it in books, through friends, and on the Internet, I’m not surprised when talk therapy causes more stress than relief. I know that short-term frustrations turn into long-term progress and recovery. #3 I use what I learn in treatment and take lifestyle changes seriously. I’ve realized that I can’t solve everything with a pill. I know that medication can be more effective when talk therapy helps me relax and acquire coping skills that lower my brain's cortisol levels (stress hormones). I understand that medication is more effective when, through talk therapy, I derive a sense of support and relief after discussing problematic past events or current struggles in my life. Talk therapy can be more effective when medication supports my mood swings enough to help me discuss issues. I know that talk therapy can be much more effective when ‘high’ moods are moderated enough for me to keep appointments and reasonably discuss my issues. #4 I take other medical issues seriously. A body in good physical shape responds more effectively to medication and talk therapy. Many physical issues and changes can affect brain chemistry. Menopause, aging, sleep disorders, and medications for other medical issues can interfere with medications prescribed to treat mood disorders. Those who take their recovery seriously tend to understand their body and medical issues more clearly. #5 I don’t self-medicate. I refrain from using alcohol or narcotics to treat my symptoms. Many often find alcohol and illegal drug use an easy, quick way to numb sad or extreme feelings. The long-term problems these substances create can be far worse than what life brings their way. I know these substances are inefficient ways to feel better and that they can intensify the negative effects of bipolar disorder. #6 I don’t give up. I find the most effective treatment options that are available to me. I am determined to find structured ways to survive and create balance. I understand that recovery takes time and requires hard work. I also make an effort to maintain regular contact with my friends, I join supportive communities, and I get help when I need it. #7 I practice gratitude. I am aware of the support and encouragement I receive from family and friends. I find it helpful to keep a daily gratitude journal to remind myself of what I’m thankful for. Changing my thinking from the burdens of bipolar to gratefulness for life’s blessings helps to improve my state of mind and allows me to approach new obstacles with a measure of perspective. At times, I grieve over having an illness that limits my definition of fun. I grieved for my past “unaware” life when it seemed so easy to let mania take over, drink when I was depressed, use sex to feel better, and uproot when life got tough. Now I make it a point to remember how I felt after those manic episodes: the dangers, the threat of an STD or pregnancy, the hangovers, and the inevitable depression when I could not get out of bed. My nostalgia is fleeting, and I can live with the grief. Every year, I am more stable. I still get sick, but not like before. Life is much better now because this is my real life, not one fueled by my mood swings. Do I wish to burn the candle at both ends and live an unconstrained life? Sometimes, but I know that life will not be a good one. I am used to bipolar now. I understand it. Maybe prioritizing stability and creating a fulfilling, productive life that also allows for bipolar management doesn’t sound very exciting, but it opens a world of personal choice that is beautiful. How about you? How do you maintain your stability? Join the discussion in the community. In 2002, Dr. James Kaufman of California State University in San Bernardino conducted a retrospective study of 1,629 writers that showed poets — specifically, female poets — were likelier than non-fiction writers, playwrights, and fiction writers to have some mental illness. He coined the link between creativity and mental illness as "The Sylvia Plath Effect."
Popular culture has long stereotyped poets as depressed and creative scientists as mad. The idea of a link between creativity and mental illness goes back to the time of Aristotle when he wrote that eminent philosophers, politicians, poets, and artists all have tendencies toward "melancholia." Professor Kay Redfield Jamison is an international authority on the subject, both as a psychiatrist and as a person with bipolar. She observes that manic-depressives in their high or manic state think faster and associate more freely. When manic, people need less sleep and have unusual energy, remarkable focus, and an inflated self-belief, all of which may allow the production of original work. Depression may be the flip side of the creative manic state and the price artists pay for their bouts of productive work. There is no question that the writing processes of people in a bipolar episode differ from the typical processes of others. The differences are significant and complex. One is that writers who are symptomatic or undergoing treatments are forced into or barred from specific abilities despite their struggle not to be. If editing is needed, but the person is in a manic or hypomanic state, the editing might be over the top. If idea generation is necessary, but the person is depressed, such idea generation may not be possible. If drafting by hand or taking notes is usually the most effective for a writer and that writer is undergoing specific treatments, hands may shake too much to use, and vision might double or triple. In addition, ideas may be foggy, and chunks of memory may be erased. I’ve often experienced what I would come to call depression block. It's not writer's block. I've experienced writer's block, where I get to a specific part of the story or something else I'm writing, and I don't know how to continue. But no. When it just comes to a screeching halt, you know, it's the illness. And I can't get up on top of it for some reason. With depression block, there is the sheer difficulty of putting anything on the page: difficulty finding even the most basic words, difficulty coming up with ideas, difficulty keeping things together, difficulty mustering the energy to write, and difficulty mustering the energy to even sit at the computer. I'd get to the computer, sit, and watch the line blink. And I'd try to type and get a sentence in a half hour. Then I wouldn't say I liked it. It was so frustrating that I would go back to bed. Depressive symptoms such as apathy, anhedonia, low self-confidence, lack of thought, and low energy kept me from being able to write. As much as writing meant to me, I didn’t want to have a thing to do with words when depressed. I also experienced anhedonia, a loss of enjoyment in otherwise pleasurable things, including reading and writing. This loss of enjoyment was all the more pronounced because I wanted to identify as a writer. I felt like a fraud. Whenever I thought of picking up and writing, I felt unworthy, and it stopped me. You can't write when you're depressed. When writing is possible while depressed, such writing tends to be personal. Even if I did write, the work is never whole because I lack the energy and the ability to make something coherent and structured. In most hypomanic episodes, I had the feeling of flow. It was the feeling of everything, like your knowledge of words, your memory about your life, your analytical skills, and everything flowing together to make it come out to be just about as complete and sound as possible. Everything in the world was connected, beautiful, and had the utmost meaning, and everybody appreciated that meaning. But, as the hypomanic episode progresses toward mania, the precise and swift connections and flow of hypomania can get more and more "out there" and more bizarre. The clarity becomes incoherent. Manic writings begin to have no substance to them. The pen keeps moving, and it doesn't make any sense. As mania progresses, the writing might become frantic and illegible, and one might be unable to keep up with one's thoughts. You can’t write as fast as you can think. Ultimately, psychosis can make the writing so disjointed - if the person can gather thoughts to write at all, the writing makes no sense. In The Midnight Disease, neurologist Alice W. Flaherty writes about hypergraphia, or "the overpowering desire" to write, which accompanies mania. Like writing in a depression, writing in a mania parallels manic symptoms. For example, people tend to be more verbose, have more thoughts, and have those thoughts at incredible speeds. In addition, they might experience pressured speech - a clinical hallmark of mania, which for writers can mean writing more and more. You think you're writing the most significant thing ever when you're doing it. And it's very humbling when you go back and read it, and it's so broken up. Artists often resist taking medication, fearing that losing the instability will also mean losing their creativity. But Jamison, who is on lithium for bipolar, says recent studies of artists and writers diagnosed with bipolar and taking medication found three-quarters were as productive or more productive on medication. She says the destructive effect of depression on the brain, the progressive nature of bipolar, and the genuine risk of suicide argue against refusing treatment. “No one is creative when severely depressive, psychotic or in four-point restraints…Artists and writers tend to focus on the risks of treatment and not on the risks of no treatment.” Treatment enables me to be more creative because I am more stable. My medication affects my "creative impulses" but not creativity itself. The medication also provides stability for my everyday life and gives me an outlet to maintain better control over my creativity. I'm unquestionably happier, more stable, capable, and competent on medication. So why should I biologically or neurologically punish my brain and body when I've been healed in so many ways? How about you? How do you deal with your creativity? Join the discussion in the community. My battle with mental health and bipolar disorder has been a silent battle for a long time.
At my darkest, I sat in my room in complete silence. I was alone in my own tangled thoughts. No one could see into the window of my soul. I hid my pain and it well. I buried it deep within; I kept a wall up so the world could not get in. I felt like screaming. I felt like I was going mad. In silence, I suffered. I wandered through the darkness, searching for a glimpse of light to shine into my life. We don’t talk about mental health enough. Mental health in Lebanon or elsewhere is not a priority. Lack of awareness perpetuates the stigma around mental illness, which stops people from receiving treatment. It even prevents them from talking about their feelings as they fail to be validated by others. Another reason why mental illness goes untreated is that many cannot afford it. And those who are aware and can afford it keep it quiet. Bipolar disorder is a severe mental illness that can be difficult to manage. Those with bipolar disorder often suffer in silence because they don't want to burden others with their problems. The stigma surrounding mental illness can make it difficult for those with bipolar disorder to seek help or treatment and make people feel isolated and alone. It's important to remember that you're not alone and others understand what you're going through. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, and asking for help is okay. Many resources are available to help people with mental illness, including support groups, therapy, and medication. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, don't hesitate to seek help. The bipolar disorder diagnosis can be daunting, but many people living with this condition are highly functional and successful. It takes a lot of courage and patience to face mental illness head-on, but it is worth it. Patience is vital when dealing with bipolar disorder because the ups and downs can be very unpredictable. You never know when you might have a manic or depressive episode, so it's essential to be prepared for anything. Bravery is also essential because mental illness can be incredibly isolating. It can be tempting to withdraw from friends and family, but reaching out for help and support is necessary. It took a while for me to see and believe, but I know now some understand and will take the time to take me by the hand to listen to my inner pain. We can’t hide behind our mask of despair, and we can’t hide away forever. I will not hide behind a painted smile anymore. I will not suffer alone in silence, not one more day. I am no longer confined to the inner turmoil in my mind. My silence is not madness. My silence was fear, fear of rejection, and the unknown. Not anymore. I broke the wall. Silence sets us apart from the world we live in, from a life we all deserve. So step out from your dark shadows, and show the world who you are and what you have to offer. Lift your eyes upward. There is hope. The light has returned to my once dimmed eyes. How about you? How do you deal with the stigma of mental health? Join the discussion in the community. We feel caged by society's expectations of us and the limitations of our environment, yet the hardest cages to break out of are our thoughts.
Some cages are imposed upon us by the thoughts and ideas of those around us, and other times we put ourselves into them willingly. So we can avoid discomfort, pain, suffering, change, growth, and rebirth. Sometimes they can even be helpful, but other times they do nothing but hold us back. The steel cages often tell us who to be, where to live, what we “should” do for a living, how to behave, and even who to like or dislike. These limitations can restrict our learning and development, robbing us of opportunities for personal growth and exploration. They dictate how we see and interact with the world around us. Learning to break free from these mental limitations can open up new opportunities for ourselves. Challenging ourselves regularly is critical in expanding our horizons and helps us live a more fulfilling life. However, breaking free from our comfort zones can be scary at first, but it is ultimately worth it if it means living a fuller life. We may leave jobs, countries, and relationships only to find ourselves in the same place. Wherever we go, there we are, goes the saying. We can't run from our problems - we must face them head-on. Even if it means admitting that we're wrong or need help, we must take the first step in fixing our problems. Sometimes, the only way to break free is to make a radical change. Whether it's quitting your job, moving away from your family and friends, or changing your whole lifestyle, starting from scratch is the only way to get out of a bad situation. Even if we think we're escaping our past, it always has a way of catching up with us. Whether it's something someone said to us years ago or an event that happened recently, memories never really die - they linger until we deal with them. The best way to deal with our demons is to confront them directly. By facing what bothers us head-on instead of trying to run away from it, we can start working through these issues and eventually become stronger on the other side. Only by accepting ourselves can we hope to break free from our self-imposed prisons. But, if all we do is try hard not to make mistakes and conform entirely to society's expectations, those expectations will eventually wear us down. We will end up in the same place we started - stuck in a rut because we didn't learn how to break free. We still have to deal with our limitations and the blocks that we were creating within our minds. I was always very independent and didn't particularly appreciate feeling constrained or limited. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it was tough to accept that there were now things that I couldn't do and would need continuous support. It took me a long time to come to terms with my new reality, but eventually, I realized that my limitations didn't have to define me or my life. Instead, I decided to focus on what I could do and find ways to work around my limitations. And slowly but surely, I started to feel like myself again - even though my life was now different than it had been before. For me, these limitations pertained to my self-confidence and self-worth—how I thought about myself and what I believed about my ability to go after what I wanted and succeed. In perpetually thinking I couldn’t do things I wanted to and wasn’t worthy of them, I paralyzed myself with fear. Growing up, I was always a shy and introverted child. I felt I could never really measure up to my extroverted and confident peers, leading to significant self-confidence and self-worth issues. As a result, I feared going after what I wanted or pursuing my dreams. These limitations crippled my life and prevented me from achieving my deserved success. It wasn't until recently that I started working on breaking free from these limitations. In doing so, I finally believed in myself enough to pursue my dreams and achieve success. For many years the outward journey did the trick for me. I changed jobs, countries, and relationships. It gave a respite to my soul, although I did not have the understanding to recognize it at the time. However, I realized that the outward journey was only taking me so far and that I needed to focus on my inward journey. Once I started focusing on my inward journey, I began to feel more connected to myself. By learning to break free from what was holding me back, I could create a more fulfilling life for myself. I have found that, ultimately, the inner journey leads to lasting freedom. I was always a rebellious person, even from a young age. It caused me many problems in my life, as I often got into trouble because I wouldn't say I liked being told what to do. It wasn't until I began my inner journey that I realized that my need for freedom was a need for inner peace. Once I found this inner peace, I could break free from my past patterns of rebellion and create my path in life. Now, whenever I feel lost or confused, I remember that the only thing I need to do is look within myself for the answers. And this is always true whether things are going well or not- the journey itself is what leads to lasting freedom. Freedom truly is in mind. If you feel caged in yours, remember presence is the key. Learning to break free from my mental limitations was a huge turning point in my life. Before this, I had been living in a world of my own making, where I was always the controller. I thought I was in control of everything and everyone around me, but I was holding myself back. It's easy to get caught up in our thoughts and feelings and forget that we're not trapped in them. When we're stuck in our heads, it feels like obstacles surround us – but we're only feeling this way because we're focusing on the wrong things. So instead of worrying about what other people are doing or thinking about us, focus on your present surroundings and take time for yourself. Once I realized I could choose how to react to my thoughts and emotions, I felt like a new person. Suddenly, life felt much more manageable and livable. This newfound freedom has allowed me to acknowledge my dreams (both big and small) and live a much more balanced life overall. If you find yourself constantly bogged down by your negative thoughts or feelings – try reminding yourself that you have control over your response, no matter what happens next. This newfound freedom has allowed me to pursue my dreams (both big and small) and live a much happier life overall. If you find yourself constantly bogged down by your negative thoughts or feelings – try reminding yourself that you have control over your response, no matter what happens next. How about you? How do you cultivate your freedom? Join the discussion in the community. There’s something strangely attractive about the stereotype of the crazy artist. Few may admit it, but the idea that van Gogh’s madness fueled his brilliance offers much hope that their demons can produce something beautiful.
The exact relationship between creativity, mental illness, and psychiatric medications are still largely inconclusive and controversial. It becomes more complex when you consider that creativity is sometimes a symptom of mental illness, like in the case of mania and bipolar disorder. I’m an artist and a writer and have been both for most of my life. And if I’m being candid, much of my earliest art (at least that which doesn’t make me cringe when I look at it) was a product of mania. I was unmedicated, and the elevated mood took unbridled hold on me across the years, causing me to pirouette my way across many late nights, start a plethora of novels, and paint my pain away. It seemed muses were inexhaustible and that ubiquitous “creative spark” was an undying blaze. After my diagnosis, I believed I wasn’t a good artist; I convinced myself I just got lucky across my episodes. But as time passed, I adjusted to the medication and found the right therapist. As a result, I feel stable, and inspiration is starting to knock on the door. When I began getting back in touch with my artsy side, I realized I still have it in me, always have, even in my healthy periods. Mania might provide a surge of ideas and the laser focus and drive to make those ideas a tangible reality. It does not, however, provide innate talent or a deep-seated passion. I have been writing since I could clutch a pen in my little fist and scribble on a page. When I’m in an episode, there’s no way I can concentrate on a piece long enough to make it coherent and well-written. I waltz from project to project, and my mind is spinning too fast to ensure the storm I’m typing up is solid and making sense. However, this is not to say that my mental struggles haven’t inspired my creativity. Most of my writings are inspired by my experiences during episodes and wouldn’t be there if I didn’t have a life riddled with mental health issues. We have bought the idea that medication will dull our sparkle and erase our edge — that it will flatten us, level us out to the point of having no shine at all to our spirits, and live out our days in anonymity and uselessness. We think medication will cause our muses to flee. This is a lie. Before I found the proper medication for my bipolar diagnosis, I was scattered. I had started a couple of novels and a few articles but nothing more. I was busy just trying to survive. However, the year after I got on the proper medication, I consistently published articles on this blog weekly. Finding the proper medication will not dull you. Instead, it may focus your energies, making you more productive than relentless mania and depression. It may spur you on to greater heights of creativity and progress. I learned that people with bipolar disorder have unique experiences that may offer us different emotional and intellectual perspectives on the world. Although we may associate heightened creativity with mania, it is possible to enhance or explore our creativity while supporting our well-being and maintaining a treatment plan for bipolar disorder. Bipolar therapy must include a therapeutic discussion of all creative issues and a developed plan to help us maintain mood stability while retaining and ultimately enhancing our creative abilities. This starts with redefining what the creative process is all about. Energy alone is not creativity. It’s simply the body's fuel being used up at an accelerated pace. The concept of the creative process acknowledges the need for a developing skill set and a formulated plan using the plotting of time as an essential ingredient. It also requires ongoing learning and skill refinement toward an appropriate level of success. This is best achieved through bipolar therapy in the post-stabilization phase when medications and overall treatment are set for long-term maintenance. Having once been so scared that I would lose my entire sense of self, I discovered that a stable life — a balanced life — actually feels like me and that I am, indeed, at the core, an artist and a writer. How about you? How do you nurture your creativity? Join the discussion in the community. Inner chaos can feel daunting.
Chaos brings about uncertainty, fears, and inabilities, and it is inevitable. Life is crazy, hectic, and uncertain, amplifying the chaos within us. With all of the outer chaos in today’s world that seems to bombard us every second, finding any peace between all the challenges being thrown at us can seem impossible. Living with internal chaos can affect our lives and well-being in many ways. It can cause us to lose focus and bog down our minds. It can cause stress and make day-to-day tasks more difficult. Internal chaos also causes emotional and psychological distress. Yet chaos is not the enemy. Instead, chaos is simply a symptom that alerts us to a bigger problem: dissatisfaction. Inner chaos is an overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness with ourselves as humans and the life we are living. Here’s how inner chaos manifests for me:
I’ve often turned to philosophy when facing the chaos within, particularly the Stoics. The Stoics focus on two things:
The goal of Stoicism is to reach inner peace by facing and overcoming adversity, practicing self-control, being conscious of our impulses, and realizing our ephemeral nature and the short time allotted. These practices helped them live with their nature and not against it. We must understand the obstacles we face and not run from them; we must learn to transform them into fuel to feed our fire. I will share some of my favorite principles from the Stoic school of philosophy. Stoic tenets will improve your overall state of mind and life if embraced and exercised regularly. Living intentionally and authentically requires us to be vulnerable, committed, adaptive, and brave, which requires a mindset that can readily negate distractions or negative impulses while focusing our hearts and minds on what’s important. It’s a tricky balancing act. Without a philosophy to guide our work and life, we will relentlessly succumb to our excuses and distractions. We will make the comfortable mistake of acting on our moods, not our principles. Principle #1: Acknowledge that all emotions come from within. It is not outside forces that make us feel something; what we tell ourselves creates our feelings. A stressful situation or unmarked to-do list is not inherently stressful—our thoughts about them are stressing us out. Many of us want to place blame and responsibility on external objects because it’s easy to do, but the truth remains that all conflicts start internally in our minds. When we flee from reality—a deadline, an urgent email—we are doing nothing but harming ourselves and undermining our self-discipline. The next time you encounter an obstacle and feel resistance, don’t look at what’s around you. Instead, look within. Principle #2: Recognize there is life after failure. We can spend months or even years on a project, only to hear destructive criticism or, worse, see it fail. When we share a part of ourselves in our work, and it fails, it can feel painful. But recovering from that failure is a practice, a mindset. The lessons we can internalize from that failed experience can help us improve. No failure, no growth. Principle #3: Challenge yourself to be brutally honest. It’s hard to change habits if we aren’t aware of why we didn’t do what we planned to do today and chose to watch mindless series instead. It’s essential to be mindful of the urges that obstruct us from showing up, engaging, committing, and being present. “Why, exactly, am I feeling this way?” Get to the bottom of that. Investigate it. Dissect it. When you feel resistance, use that as a cue to go forward. The challenge, of course, is training yourself to think that way. This isn’t about talent or some unconscious reflex. Instead, the practice of self-awareness—to think about your thinking—in how you think, feel, and behave is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Principle #4: Reflect on what you spend the most time on. Scrolling your Instagram feed? You’re probably not even paying attention to those reels and sponsored ads. That email? I know it’s fun connecting, but can it wait? In my observations, people who live their best lives do so because of their ability to prioritize. They honor every hour of their day. If we put cameras behind our heroes, would our life ethics compare? Our focus? Our determination to get things done? To do something that matter to you most? Principle #5: Put the phone away and be present. It’s not that we live in an age of distractions, but rather a period where we fail to teach and embrace mindful motives. To be present, as well as learning to be alone, is a habit. Some people are good at it because they make time to do it if needed, or they would go mad. Throughout your day, find a moment to sit and be still, however fleeting. It doesn’t matter where you are. Take a few deep breaths, put your phone on silent so there’s no chance of interruption, and just reflect on the events that took place throughout your day. When you’re working, be ruthlessly present. Let your mind focus on the task and what you’re trying to accomplish, and do it with diligence, patience, attentiveness, and care. Sooner or later, you’ll realize how much of an asset this is to your overall quality of life. Principle #6: Remind yourself that time is our most precious resource. What I particularly love and find challenging about Stoicism is that death is at the forefront of their thoughts. They realized the ephemeral nature of humans. It provides a sense of urgency to realize that you’ve lived a certain number of hours, and the hours ahead of you are not guaranteed as the ones you have lived. When I think of this, I realize that every day truly is an opportunity to improve, not in a cliché kind of way, but to learn to honestly appreciate what we are capable of achieving and how we are very responsible for the quality of our lives. It makes our self-respect, work ethic, generosity, self-awareness, attention, and growth evermore significant. The last thing any of us wants to do is die with regret, hence why following principles of Stoicism puts your life into perspective. It humbles you and should also deeply motivate you. How we lead our lives must embody the principles we practice. Less comparing, criticizing, and consuming; more creating, learning, and living. How about you? What current principles do you follow that help you master inner chaos? Join the discussion in the community. I don’t know how to breathe.
Most of the time, my breathing is shallow. When I am anxious or stressed, I stop breathing. When my therapist asks me to take a slow, deep breath, she has to insist a few times until the breathing gets slower and deeper. Anxiety has always coexisted with my bipolar symptoms. After living through my first panic attack, I started seeking proper support for my mental health. I was walking down the streets of Montreal to attend a class when my heart started racing. I couldn’t breathe, and my chest hurt like a million daggers. I felt dizzy and couldn’t walk. In a torrid tango with my bipolar episodes, what ensued was a constant state of excessive worry over everyday things—personal health, work, social interactions—most days, even today, though to a much lesser extent. Sometimes in life, we are placed in demanding situations that feel out of our control. As a result, they lead to intense feelings of stress and anxiety. Although each person and each case is different, the best way to handle these negative emotions is to change the perspective through body-based techniques. Of these, breathing can be the most effective. For thousands of years, people have used the art of breathing for equally profound effects on the mind and body. Some have used it to relieve chronic pain and many more to cope with anxiety, stress, and depression. Some claim it led to spiritual enlightenment. But I’m as spiritual as a stone, so I use it to help me stay calm in a chaotic world and better appreciate everyday life's bittersweet beauty. Breathing seems so ordinary that its true significance can easily pass us by. But, unfortunately, it is so mundane that many of us have even forgotten how to breathe correctly — and this, as I found out during my anxious bipolar episodes tribulations, has vast implications for overall health and happiness. Correct breathing enhances the immune system and helps rid the body of toxins and pollutants. It calms the mind and wards off anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. And focusing on the breath with the mind’s eye is the heart of mindfulness meditation, which has been clinically proven to beat depression and enhance overall happiness, well-being, clarity of thought — and even decision-making and creativity. But there’s also a hidden — and equally important side to breathing. Your breath reflects and amplifies your emotions. So incorrect breathing can cause anxiety, stress, and even depression. It works like this: momentary stress causes the body to tense, and you begin to breathe a little more shallowly. A shallow breath lowers oxygen levels in the blood, which the brain senses as stress. Breathing then becomes a little quicker and shallower. Oxygen levels fall a little more. The heart begins to race. The brain feels a little more stressed. It’s a vicious cycle. But there is an alternative. A gently rising and falling breath stimulates the parts of the brain and nervous system responsible for creating a sense of calm tranquillity. Soothing hormones flow through the body. These quiet negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, so you begin to breathe a little more slowly and deeply. You begin to relax. It’s a virtuous cycle. The art of breathing lies in paying attention to your breath in an extraordinary way. It’s the heart of mindfulness and as old as meditation itself. You can learn the basics in just a few minutes. However, mastering it takes somewhat longer. The art of breathing kindles a sense of wonder, awe, and curiosity — the foundations of a happier and more meaningful life. It grants you the courage to accept yourself with all of your faults and failings. To treat yourself with the kindness, empathy, and compassion that you genuinely need and help you to look outwards and embrace the world. And when you do this, you’ll start to live mindfully. I was diagnosed in 2018.
It took a few months to manage the ebbs and flows of my mind, body, and life. But it wasn’t until the pandemic began that I started to feel recovered. First, I think it’s important to define “recovery.” For me, the most realistic definition is that I’m spending more time living my life than managing bipolar disorder. I often tell people that when it comes to reaching recovery with bipolar disorder, the only important thing is that you are making consistent progress. My second piece of advice is that there is no time limit. It will take as long as it takes, but if you focus on moving forward daily, I believe everyone can get there. All of that said, it is reassuring to see progress. It’s easier to accomplish anything the second time around. It’s not about knowledge or experience, either. It’s about having the confidence of knowing you can do it. Experiencing success is a powerful motivator. My success indicators are simple things, like taking medications as prescribed, making appointments with my treatment team, and arriving on time for these appointments. While I agree these aren’t exciting, establishing this track record is much more progress than people realize. The reality is that living well with bipolar disorder means consistently doing typical everyday tasks. Many of those tasks are mundane and boring. However, it’s essential to realize that you're doing well if you are successful at life’s minutiae. Recovery from mental illness is more than just taking your meds. But unfortunately, people seem to believe that the meds did all the hard work. I agree that medication helps to settle the ‘biological chaos,’ but it doesn’t fix my problem. It doesn’t change the way I think or the way I behave. That’s still down to me. Let’s make no mistake. I would not have had any sort of stable life I have without my meds. They have helped me excel at work, maintain happy and healthy relationships, and give me back some form of sleeping pattern and partial control over my disorder. But the hard work was still mine. Recovery means staying aware of your mental health. No one knows more than you when something is off. Be brave enough to influence your treatment and advocate for yourself: speak to your doctors about what works and doesn’t. Tell your friends and family about how they can help you. Tell someone when you have a bad day. Learn your triggers and make others aware of them. Your recovery might look different from someone else’s, but it’s still bloody fantastic. Comparison is a fucking killer. We’ve all done it. Just because someone looks like they’re doing excellent doesn’t mean they are. So stay in your lane, and focus on your goals. Recovery is learning to spot your warning signs. It is not always easy to know what you are feeling, especially as it’s happening, and put it into words – but try to recognize how you are feeling and any signs that lead to you feeling unwell. It can be helpful when seeking support. Recovery is learning to put yourself first. I have left jobs and cut off friends if I believed it was affecting my mental health. You will always be your longest commitment – it is a significant relationship to have with yourself. So what if things haven’t gone the way you planned, the new way things are doesn’t match the plan you had for your life? It’s your life now, and you can make it whatever you want. Things will always be okay. Recovery is taking steps to increase your self-esteem. Believe you deserve happiness, that you matter, and that you are good enough. Take time for yourself until you feel like yourself. Move past the mistakes you’ve made. Recognize what you are good at and why you have worth. Recovery is knowing that the world is a better place with you in it. I can promise you now that no one else quite like you, and it makes the world a better place with you in it. The goal is to manage the illness in a way that allows for fewer mood swings in terms of duration and intensity. This is our success. Work on having a plan that is stronger than mood swings. For a long time, I’ve struggled with my identity.
For most of my life, how I felt about myself was reflective of my mood at the time. When I was manic, I saw myself as brilliant. I thought I was doing well enough to be admitted to the best, most elite universities. And, when I was depressed, I was sure I would end up begging for food on the streets. I had my first major depressive episode as I was graduating from university. So many people with severe mental health conditions struggle first to get a proper diagnosis and second, accept their diagnoses and the implications it means for their life—and I was no exception. It was hard to realize that I was not like everyone else. I felt I was giving up my identity for one I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be ill. My symptoms worsened when I reached my twenties. I went into denial and spiraled into ten years of cyclical episodes. My life consisted of a maze of exhilarating highs, debilitating lows, countless therapist visits, and taking handfuls of antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and recreational drugs. While most of my peers were thriving and charting their paths to successful careers and meaningful lives, I struggled to keep myself consistently employed. In addition, maintaining relationships with others was challenging since I had such a shaky self-image. Somehow, my illness kept spinning out of control until I no longer recognized the person who stared back at me in the mirror. I feared that I would never get better during the worst of my illness. Sitting in my bedroom —each time—waiting for the fog to lift, I felt hopeless. I saw that my friends had lives. They were getting promoted, traveling the world, and getting married. In contrast, I lived a day-to-day existence. I couldn’t plan for the future because I could never predict where my mental illness would take me. Then in 2018, I had a massive episode with psychotic features that led me, once again, to a psychiatrist, who finally diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. After receiving this diagnosis, I went through a grieving process. But, I had to accept the reality that I had a mental illness. Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder altered my life course and required me to take time to think about and re-evaluate my sense of self. Integrating this diagnosis into my identity has been a process. First, I had to adjust to the changes that treatment and care of my condition meant for my life. For example, my psychiatrist spent significant time explaining that taking medication was the only way for me to function correctly. As a result, I now understand the importance of staying on track with medications to move forward in my recovery. In the first few months after my diagnosis, I believed that the medication would be a magic treatment for me. I didn’t want to work on myself because I thought the pills would bring back my identity as much as I hated taking them. Then I realized, whether I like it or not, that my illness is a big part of my life. It is a part of my identity and something I must approach with proper treatment. I needed to build a healthy lifestyle from the ground up. My recovery from bipolar disorder started with constructive decisions about my overall health and self-perception. Self-care comes in many forms. To me, it begins with a healthy start to my morning. After waking up, I spend time journaling my intention for the day and adding things to my gratitude list. After that, I meditate, work out and read. I take regular breaks during my work day to refill my cup. I am learning to set healthy boundaries and reasonable expectations. I practice yin yoga after work and spend time with my family. I am religious about my sleep schedule and aim to have eight to nine hours of sound sleep every night. Some days are so much more complicated than others. Once in a while, ten minutes of gentle yin yoga will have to be enough. More than anything, I’m thrilled just to be alive. I have experienced severe episodes that almost put me in danger. But, thanks to excellent mental health care and my family and friends, I am getting my life back on my terms. I am also developing an identity for myself that accommodates my bipolar disorder. But most importantly, my identity is “unapologetically me,” not “bipolar.” Since my diagnosis, I have worked to develop a stable, positive identity that keeps me in touch with the full range of my values, abilities, and roles, rather than focusing only on limitations placed on me by bipolar disorder. Here are a few steps that helped me develop and maintain a healthy sense of self: #1 Assess yourself I have used the CRESTBD Quality of Life Tool to identify my strengths and establish a more well-rounded sense of identity. We all have things that we struggle with, and we all have things that we are good at or areas of life in which we are flourishing – the QoL Tool can be a helpful reminder of all these facets of your identity. #2 Allow yourself to feel While I am more vulnerable to persistent mood states like depression or mania, I still have day-to-day or moment-to-moment emotional changes, just like everyone else. For example, I can be excited or happy without being manic or sad and frustrated without being depressed. Teaching myself and others to help tell the difference between regular changes of emotions throughout the day from mood episodes can be very important to feel supported and validated by others. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me develop an awareness of what fluctuations in emotions are healthy and appropriate given the circumstances and promote more balanced and realistic thoughts about changes in mood state. #3 Learn to be kind to yourself When exploring my different characteristics, I learned to be gentle and accepting with the parts of myself that I want to change or are not in line with who I’d like to be. Being critical of myself causes unnecessary hardship. Being kind to myself gave me strength and even helped me make changes for the better. Mindfulness practice helped me identify self-judgments and practice a gentler way of relating to myself. My friends, family members, and the mental health team helped me challenge negative thoughts and develop more realistic and helpful ones. Many misconceptions shroud bipolar disorder, and while most of us understand that people with bipolar disorder suffer from depression and mania, we also need to realize that nothing, including bipolar disorder, is as clear-cut as they seem. People suffering from this disorder battle against many things outside these two known states.
Here are a few things we need to understand about people who have bipolar disorder: #1 We’re not constantly experiencing symptoms Individuals with bipolar disorder experience periods of extreme changes in mood and energy levels, but not around the clock. First, these shifts are called “episodes,”—and there are a few different types:
The types of episodes you go through depending on whether you have bipolar I or II (the two main types, although there are other conditions related to bipolar disorder). And how a person feels or acts during their bipolar episodes (and their length) can vary greatly and be entirely subjective. (Mood episodes generally last at least a week.) But bipolar episodes, regardless of what types affect you, are interspersed with periods without any symptoms—which is essential to remember. #2 People diagnosed with bipolar disorder have different experiences How bipolar episodes cycle and present for an individual depends on all kinds of things such as the person’s age, illness severity, which medications they are being treated with now, which medications they were treated with previously, whether they are taking their medications—all sorts of factors. So, as you can imagine, bipolar disorder can be very complex to treat and manage. Successful treatment is keeping open and regular communication between a patient and their doctor. #3 You can’t just snap out of an episode Medication is needed to treat symptoms if someone is already in full mania/hypomania or depression. One cannot pull themself out of a mood episode. Sometimes people will be aware that they are in or near an episode. Still, not all the time, depending on the person’s level of awareness and familiarity with their symptoms as well as the severity, this may affect whether or not they have the attention to take their medication. Some medications for bipolar disorder can treat mania, hypomania, and depression, while other drugs only treat certain episode types or combinations. In addition, some medications can prevent symptoms from becoming a full episode if taken in time. This is where psychotherapy plays an essential role, as it helps teach a person with bipolar disorder how to spot and manage those early symptoms. #4 It’s a lifelong diagnosis that needs to be constantly managed Bipolar is a lifelong diagnosis, and ideally, very soon after those first mood-elevated episodes, that person gets word from the appropriate experts and clinicians that they are at risk for the rest of their lives of having another episode. So, a person with bipolar will very likely be on medication and working with a therapist throughout their life. But unfortunately, the symptoms don't magically disappear because I go to therapy and I have medication, and I've taken the time and effort to develop coping mechanisms. A mental health disorder is like a cold, but the cold is in your head. Sometimes I need to sleep a little more. Sometimes my appetite isn't there. And I need my medication to help the process along. #5 Mania is not fun Some people would say, “Thank God you aren’t depressed all the time. At least you have energized happy moments. That should make up for the days of depression”. While having a lot of energy is great, it can be hazardous when you have no control over your actions at that “high” moment. Imagine being filled up with restless energy, losing touch with reality, and you are irritated you are angry, and you can’t get your body to shut down and have rest. You are awake when the world is asleep and drained, but the energy won’t let you go to sleep. You make decisions that on a regular ground you won’t do, but at that point, your mind rationalizes and justifies that decision. These periods of overspending, irrational thoughts and actions, and overconfidence tremendously impact their family relationships, social life, and financial stability. So no, mania isn’t fun. #6 People living with bipolar disorder can and do thrive and flourish People are not aware that there are lots of people who have the condition, including leaders of major corporations and musicians. We’re often viewed as defective, yet the evidence is contrary. Just because I'm managing and have a life where I can be a full-time employee and take care of my family doesn't mean I don't have bipolar disorder anymore. People with bipolar disorder aren’t necessarily suffering. Many famous, talented, productive people have dealt—I hate the word suffer—with bipolar disorder. I’ve kept a journal since I was old enough to write. I have boxes of journals from over the years that I sometimes look back to when I’m curious about revisiting memories. It also helped me look back with compassion on previous episodes when I finally got diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
When coping with bipolar disorder symptoms, journaling can help you make sense of your emotions and move toward stability. With this nonjudgmental partner, I can share intimate and poignant thoughts that—like bipolar disorder itself—may convey opposite ends of the emotional and imaginative spectrum. Journaling can provide you with a sense of history and sequence. It can be a way of observing yourself, tracking, and making connections in ways that symptoms happen. You can use journaling to set goals, noticing what’s practical or problematic. It’s a method of making meaning out of daily events. Through my challenges, writing about my experience has helped me cope. It kept me grounded when I felt like the world was upside-down. Instead of bottling up emotions, I’ve logged them, which has been cathartic and freeing. In addition to treatment and self-care, journaling has helped me navigate through the most challenging times. Writing my story down helped me confront the trauma I’d endured. My past was a learning experience that made me resilient. Journaling gave me the strength to put myself back together. I emerged from a long, dark tunnel that seemed at times to have no light at the end. Over the years, I kept writing. Initially, it was purely therapeutic — not meant for anyone but me to read. But one day, I realized that my story might inspire hope for others who were struggling as I had. So by 2020, I launched this blog. How to Start Journaling Try these five steps to get started:
There are many different journal prompts and questions to explore and find a perspective from, especially when you need to recenter yourself or find clarity. Below, we made a list of mental health journal prompts to follow for your next writing session. #1 Keep a gratitude list. This form of journaling doesn’t need to be daily, and in fact, sometimes it’s better to do it just randomly. For example, you might be thankful that the sun is shining today, you just heard that Billie Eilish is releasing a new song, or you’re grabbing coffee with friends after work. #2 Describe your favorite memory. Take pen to paper and start detailing your favorite memory, whether from childhood or last week. It could help you shift to a positive mindset. #3 List your coping mechanisms. Write out all of the actions and strategies that help you maintain stability. These mechanisms could include practicing yoga, meditating, talking to your therapist, or dancing. Just be sure to list what works best for you. #4 Write about your strengths. The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is a free self-assessment that takes less than 15 minutes and provides a wealth of information to help you understand your best qualities and identify actionable tips to apply your strengths to find greater well-being. #5 Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself or someone else. It could be a productive step in processing your feelings. But, although you may never send it, you must give yourself the space to heal. #6 Write a letter to your future self. Whether you pick 10, 15, or 50 years from now, choose an age and jot down some notes for your future self. You might summarize your current self and what you're working towards at the moment, make predictions, and ask questions. This practice lets you reflect on your journey and set reasonable goals for how you’d like to see yourself evolve. It’s important to note that journaling does not take the place of therapy. If you’re feeling overwhelming symptoms of anxiety, stress, depression, or another mental health condition, and struggling to process these feelings yourself, schedule an appointment with a therapist or ask your doctor for help. Bipolar disorder can distort our thinking, particularly when during a mood episode. Depression manifests with negative thoughts that only reinforce greater feelings of low self-worth and sadness. To break free from this cycle, we can learn to focus on our thoughts and redirect them in a more realistic, brighter direction.
#1 Ruminating on mistakes Ruminating mistakes, problems, and misfortunes from the past often create a heavy load of negativity. When we’re stuck in a thought loop about what we’ve done in the past, we can’t fully embrace the present moment nor move forward into the future with confidence and strength. This pattern can keep us stuck in cycles of feeling worthless, guilty, or ashamed. There is nothing innately wrong with reflecting on past experiences. It is how we can learn, grow and mature as people. However, negativity only arises when we dwell on a situation repeatedly without any genuine intention to learn, solve things or move forward. Rumination ends up feeling more like just punishing ourselves. We wish things were different, and we beat ourselves up about it. Like holding the weight of the glass for too long, rumination can end up causing us agonizing inner pain and hold us back from being our best selves and living our best lives. #2 Self-criticism We all have a voice in our heads. It talks to us all day long in the form of constant thoughts. Sometimes this voice is helpful. It alerts us to things we can do to achieve our goals or solve problems. But often, this inner voice is our own worst enemy. Sometimes it’s a downright bully. They are constantly putting us down, telling us we are not enough. That self-critical voice raises doubts, points out our flaws, and questions how we live our lives. Most of us would never speak to someone else how we talk to ourselves. Our inner critic can be incredibly harsh and mean. When we make a mistake or have a setback, it is often overdrive—bringing even more suffering to an already difficult time. All this negative self-talk and self-criticism can crush our confidence, shatter our self-esteem and make us feel unworthy and unhappy. Sometimes, we can feel so debilitated by these feelings we become depressed or even suicidal. The path to feeling true self-worth is releasing those thoughts that tell you are deficient and need to prove yourself. By doing this, you can learn to feel whole and live an authentic and meaningful life right where you are. #3 Focusing on the negativity and the problems Negative thoughts often revolve around stewing on what’s going wrong in our lives. Our attention becomes fixated on, and often exaggerates, the complex or unpleasant aspects of situations, people, and events. Here our minds will often downplay or overlook what’s going well in life and put the majority of focus on what’s not. When we’re so absorbed in what’s wrong, we cannot notice what’s right. Rather than allowing our focus to expand into what is going well at the same time, we remain only with what isn’t. Zeroing in and dwelling on unpleasant situations makes us feel more significant stress, unhappiness, frustration, anxiety, and negativity in daily life. So what can be done? What is critical, and something many people miss is that you can’t just replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If we could do that, everyone would be okay. Overcoming negativity is about changing the way we relate to our ideas and being able to steer our focus in more helpful ways. #1 Mindfully observe and let them go To overcome negative thinking, we can practice being the observer of our thoughts rather than being hooked by them. Once we learn to recognize and unhook from negative thoughts, we become free from any impact they may have on us. So, we don’t need to know how to stop negative thoughts. But, when we get hooked by our thoughts and believe our beliefs are true, the problem lies. Just beneath the waves of our thoughts, emotions, and conditioning, there is a deep ocean of awareness in each one of us. It can be a source of calm, wisdom, compassion, and incredible inner strength. It is always available to us as a place of refuge. Mindfulness is the practice of cultivating that awareness. We build our capacity to stay grounded in greater understanding through mindfulness instead of being so caught up in and tossed around by the surface waves of thoughts and emotions. #2 Practice self-compassion The most powerful skill to unwind the inner critic and cultivate inner peace is the skill of self-compassion. Self-compassion involves training our inner critic to be more like a kind and supportive inner coach. When people first hear about self-compassion, they usually have hesitations. Why? Many people believe that if they don’t crack the whip with harsh self-talk, they won’t be motivated to make changes and reach goals. However, research shows just the opposite. Self-limiting and self-critical thoughts sap our motivation and initiative. At the same time, self-compassion and kindness increase them. When we learn to be kinder to ourselves, we also become more resilient to challenges and stress. We’re more productive and able to overcome bad habits and addiction. And have more fulfilling relationships with others. Part of self-compassion is being a caretaker of your own needs. Another way to practice self-compassion is through your actions. Try focusing on doing more things that nourish you, feed your soul and genuinely make you happy rather than doing something to ‘make it in the eyes of the world’ or to get ‘likes,’ approval, or status in the eyes of others. It could be helpful to make a list of the things that recharge the batteries, relax and rejuvenate you. The things light you up, bring you joy, and feed the soul. #3 Take in the good This is not about ‘positive thinking'; it’s about noticing your direct experiences as you go about the day, like pausing to appreciate the beauty in your garden or savoring the taste of your tea. It might mean enjoying the warmth of your blankets at night or the sound of the rain. What are some good aspects in your life that you don’t usually notice? What is beautiful that you can appreciate, enjoy, and savor as you go about your day? We are not all the same, and we do not all have the same life circumstances. So, although these tools are powerful and potentially life-changing, they are not a panacea for everything and may not work the same for everyone. Negative thinking can come from various sources, including trauma and genuinely tricky life circumstances that need to change. Sometimes using these tools will not be the best solution or won’t be a complete solution on their own. Talking to a qualified therapist, taking action to change your circumstances, or standing up for your rights, values, and needs may also need to be a part of a holistic solution for you to feel your best self again.
I recently completed a leadership training program called the altMBA. Through the 31-day journey, I learned to appreciate my assets and discovered new ones along the way. Courage, vulnerability, empathy, and generosity are just some of those that I will learn to cultivate along the journey.
I also learned to ask for what I want and go after what brings me energy and joy. My project is to take this blog and make it into a space for people to learn about managing bipolar disorder and successfully thriving with the constraints of the diagnosis. I discovered that I could be brave. I can be me even if my version is vulnerable. It’s even better. I have bruises. That’s what gives me superpowers! My vision is to initiate and inspire positive change through my work by contributing to the empowerment of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder to tame their monsters, embrace their abilities and uncover their superpowers. I will achieve that by fostering meaningful relationships with others, loving unconditionally, practicing kindness, and being open to forming new connections and opportunities for growth and self-actualization. Who is it for? Bipolar disorder is relatively common, and 1 in every 100 people will be diagnosed with it at some point in their life. Bipolar disorder can occur at any age, although it often develops between 15 and 19 and rarely develops after 40. Men and women from all backgrounds are equally likely to develop bipolar disorder. I will focus on Lebanon to start and gradually expand to more countries regionally. It is challenging to delineate the rules, values, beliefs, and biases they bring to a situation. Though it may be safe to assume, based on experience, that:
What is it for? Anyone diagnosed with bipolar disorder should have an opportunity to learn about their diagnosis, understand it, and discover the strategies that can help them maintain their stability to flourish and thrive. bipolarstable.com shares lived experiences of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder and techniques to maintain the stability tested in specific circumstances so that others can learn, adapt and flourish. It is a community for people diagnosed with bipolar disorder to share their experiences, learn strategies to maintain their stability, and learn and grow and thrive together in a safe and inclusive environment. Goals To launch the membership component by September 2022 and reach 50 members by the end of December 2022 with at least two daily conversations on the website. I am reclaiming my power and taking you on this journey with me. Will you join me? The future of work is emotional.
If there’s one thing I learned in my current workplace, we are better employees when we bring our whole selves to work. Effectively embracing emotions is essential for a better workplace. It isn’t an invitation to be a feelings firehose but rather an invitation to start moving away from the idea that professionalism means suppressing any emotion by acknowledging that we’re all emotional creatures, both in and out of the office. We all have emotions; some of us have been taught to express them more, and some haven’t. The trick is to figure out how to harness the power of the emotions within us. For example, we believe that women are more emotionally in tune with their feelings, and there is some biological evidence. However, this is rapidly changing as gender becomes more fluid. Is it even possible to be "too emotional"? Or is this a criticism leveled by people who cannot deal with emotion in themselves or feel the need to repress it? Unmatched expectations, anxiety about our value and performance, overthinking, ambiguous communication, insufficient direction, unclear motivation, and an absence of work-life balance make us emotional. All of them can stem from or be amplified by situations at work. So what can we do about it? First, it's essential to acknowledge that emotions can never be wrong. For example, displaying them in the middle of a board meeting may be inappropriate, but there is nothing to be gained from being shamed for feeling them. Next, recognize that there is no "fix" for how someone feels. It isn't always possible to change the situation that has caused the feeling, so you need to be comfortable doing something that most of us find extremely hard: passive listening. Sitting and listening to someone tell you how they feel without you talking, counter-arguing, or grasping for a solution is what people need. There is enormous healing in simply being heard and acknowledged. In short, developing and cultivating emotional intelligence in the workplace is the key to unlocking everyone’s human potential. One definition of emotional intelligence is someone’s ability to perceive, understand, and manage feelings and emotions. It is vitally important in the workplace because it is linked to higher job satisfaction and is strongly associated with job performance. Emotional intelligence is often measured by looking at the following traits or characteristics:
Some of the things that we can do to increase our emotional intelligence include: #1 Becoming more self-aware Pay attention to how you feel throughout your day and notice how your emotions contribute to your decisions and actions. Could you identify and understand your emotional strengths and weaknesses? Understand that emotions can be fleeting and easily changed. #2 Practicing self-regulation Find techniques to help you deal with work-related stress, like hobbies, exercise, meditation, etc. Try to accept reality and keep a cool head when work gets crazy. Give yourself time to think and plan before making decisions-especially big decisions. #3 Improving your social skills Listen actively and attentively to your managers, coworkers, and peers. Keep an eye out for nonverbal communication. Work on your persuasion and influencing skills. Gossip, but could you step in to handle conflict when appropriate and necessary? #4 Becoming more empathetic Put yourself in their shoes-at work and in your personal life. Pay attention to your responses to others. #5 Working on your motivation You can focus on what you love about your job rather than what you hate. Try to maintain a positive, optimistic attitude. By understanding the feelings of ourselves and others and allowing this knowledge to enable us to reason and make decisions, we enjoy the unique experience of being human beings. It’s no secret that eating unhealthy foods can lead to many conditions. But a lesser-known effect of a poor diet is that it can contribute to bipolar mood episodes. And while no specific diet is recommended for bipolar disorder, confident food choices may help manage mood episodes.
There is no specific bipolar diet. Nevertheless, it is essential to make wise dietary choices to help you maintain a healthy weight and stay well. These choices include:
Some general dietary recommendations for treating bipolar disorder include:
Planning a healthier diet doesn’t have to be a chore. Try visiting your local farmers' markets, exploring the options, and talking with the farmers themselves about the best use of their produce. And for quick stops at the store, try to stick to whole foods, such as produce and fish. For more ways to make your diet healthier, look into these recommendations:
Building the best diet often takes a group effort, including help from your bipolar treatment medical team. If your diet and lifestyle need a complete makeover, reach out to your doctor or a dietitian for help. We all need to take a break now and then, and especially during the workweek rush, it is essential to slow down and be more mindful about creating relaxing moments to make the best of busy days.
Here are some ways to give yourself time during the day to truly unwind. #1 Pause Social Media It’s okay to take a break from social media. Permit yourself and set your intentions to take breaks from social platforms. Do your best to only check in at set times. #2 Take a Phone Break Turn off notifications, and turn your ringer/vibrating off. We’ve become so attuned to the notifications of our smartphones, having them constantly tell us someone needs us or something is required of us. It can be so freeing to just leave your phone charging for the day without glancing and go about your day without being tied to your phone. If this makes you anxious, try turning the notifications off with a do not disturb setting for a few hours, and then extend from there. #3 Take a Moment to Breathe Explore short meditations – most meditation apps have simple 2-3 minute meditations. You can also find guided breathing exercises on YouTube (Search for Box Breathing). If your mind wanders, it will either start from the beginning or where you left off. This technique is excellent for returning to sleep or unwinding from stressful moments. #4 Dance it Out If you’re having a particularly stressful day, one of the best ways to unwind might be to host a private dance party for yourself. Close yourself in a room, blast some banging tunes, and dance your heart out! Dance is a form of exercise and is also great for improving your posture, mood, and flexibility and easing anxiety. #5 Stretch Your Body If you can feel how tense your body is, a great way to unwind is by introducing a short stretch to your routine. Stretching is good for easing anxiety and muscle discomfort and will give you a better posture. #6 Get Clear on What You Can and Can’t Control Unwinding also includes focusing on what you can and can’t control. Think about precisely what you’re concerned about, and then ask yourself if you have any control over it. If the answer is no – and it often is – let it go. If the answer is yes, do what you can and move on. #7 Support Someone Else Sometimes the quickest way to unwind is to focus on someone other than ourselves. For instance, you can call a friend and talk about how they’re doing. Then, listen intently to their concerns. #8 Be Kind to Yourself Intentionally optimizing rest so it’s as effective as possible is a worthy endeavor for many reasons—but also, it shouldn’t be an added source of stress or something you pressure yourself to do all the time. There will be days when negative thoughts and guilt creep in, or you opt for numbing out, or escapism instead of something you know works better. There will probably be many days like that, and it’s okay. It’s easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mentality around rest. Maybe you push yourself too hard during the week and only rest on weekends. Or perhaps you tell yourself you don’t have the time, bandwidth, or resources to rest “properly,” so you don’t do it. But unfortunately, when we do that, we run the risk of burning out and rendering rest less effective overall, but we also wind up turning to activities that aren’t restful so much as numbing. That sort of restrictive behavior works against our rest. You can fall into binges when you don’t have smaller moments more regularly. And given that for many, binges can come with guilt, shame, and other emotions that impact our ability to relax, it’s a lot more practical to build relaxation into your schedule regularly. So try sprinkling some of the activities you usually save for the weekend throughout the week instead and see how that works. Getting things done with a bipolar disorder diagnosis requires strategy, discipline, and creativity.
As you would expect, mood episodes can seriously interfere with your concentration, energy levels, and quality of life. Doing your best to prioritize your health and maintain a stable mood are some of the best ways to take care of yourself. And many of the strategies that help you achieve this can also make you feel more in control and productive. The most crucial factor in boosting my productivity (and, more importantly, staying healthy) has been establishing a routine and sticking to it. Managing the anxiety associated with bipolar is best approached by limiting the number of decisions I make daily. Having a repetitive work structure is one way of doing that. Maintaining a set sleep pattern to the best of my ability has been essential for keeping my mood stable. This is much easier when you stick to your routine, including setting work and screen time limits. Remember to make a routine that works for you. For example, it might be that the “normal” 9-to-5 just doesn’t allow you to be maximally productive. If this is the case, be open with your boss about it. During the pandemic, I learned how important it is to be realistic about what I demand. For many of us, a significant part of bipolar disorder is managing our ambition in manic phases and trying to square this with the total lack of motivation we feel when depressed. Unfortunately, obsessively tracking my productivity only made this worse. So, here’s a strategy I’ve developed that you may find helpful, even when there is not a global pandemic raging around you: Stop feeling guilty or fearful of what will happen if you don’t complete everything you want in a given day. I realize it’s not easy to “stop” feeling an emotion, so to start, focus on grounding your fears in reality. Try this exercise: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that will happen if I don’t complete this assignment? What’s the best thing that will happen if I do?” Another way I’ve managed my anxiety around being productive is to make sure I take the time to feel good about the work I have completed. But, again, It can be a problem for those of us with bipolar because in manic phases — when we get a lot done — we rarely take time to give ourselves credit before moving on to the next thing. Give yourself permission to pause and celebrate when you accomplish something. For example, take yourself out to dinner at a restaurant you like, splurge on something you’ve always wanted (just make sure you can afford it), set aside money for a vacation you’ve wanted to take, etc. Finally, here’s the oldest piece of advice for managing bipolar – ask for help when you need it. It might be more challenging to connect with friends and family during lockdowns, but it’s more important than ever that you try. You might not always recognize when you’re at risk of slipping into a mood episode. Or you may need someone to point out that you’re in a situation where it’s best to focus directly on your mental health instead of how much you’re getting done. Feeling overwhelmed by stress and anxiety? There are some practical strategies to find relief in your daily life.
Stress is a common trigger for bipolar mood episodes. Stress becomes problematic when it becomes chronic, sustained over extended periods without relief, or acutely overwhelming at a specific time. This sustained stress can complicate life and aggravate bipolar symptoms, possibly even inciting a mood episode. To manage stress more effectively with bipolar disorder, I use specific techniques that have worked for me. #1 Melt The Stress Away With A Hot Shower. A hot shower or bath will relieve tension and soothe tight, tired muscles, like your neck and shoulders, when you’re stressed. Showers are very beneficial, allowing your mind to wander. When your body relaxes, your mind will be more open and creative. You may come up with solutions (after all, the best ideas come in the shower) to your workday stress, or at the very least, focus on something more positive about your day. #2 Change Into Comfy Clothes. One of the first things you can do when you come home after a stressful day is to change into comfy clothes. Unfortunately, distinguishing between work clothes and home clothes can also set boundaries between work and home lives. When we change out of our work clothes, we leave behind our day and the stresses that stem from work for the rest of the day. #3 Cook (Or Order) A Healthy Meal. One of the other things I do to relieve stress with bipolar disorder is to eat healthier. I know I crave junk food, which is unsuitable for my mind or mood. So I recommend eating foods that are going to be sustaining and healthy. It means cutting back on junk food, processed food, and sugar. I’ve found that it does help to manage overall stress. #4 Remind Yourself To Breathe. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Now let it out … slowly. Try counting to 10 as you let out your breath. Feel the tension and stress flowing out of you with your breath. Repeat 3-10 times, as necessary. #5 Escape In A Good Book. Reading is an excellent escape for me and allows me to unwind and forget my problems. Whether reading a nonfiction book on management or psychology or a novel, reading can temporarily transport me to another world, allowing me to become more empathetic. #6 Do Something Relaxing. Sometimes we forget to take a step back and relax. It doesn’t need to be elaborate: take a luxurious and long bath or get lost in an uncomplicated and peaceful activity, such as coloring, listening to soothing music, or watching a comedy special. The point is to do something that is a treat, maybe out of the ordinary, but does not provide much mental stimulation. Allow yourself some much-deserved rest. #7 Let It All Out. Something else that works well for me is journaling. It helps me to get my thoughts down on paper and see everything that has been going on. I frequently read old journal entries to notice patterns and see events that have been going on in my life that might be stressful, so I can acknowledge those and deal with them more effectively. #8 Asking For Help. If you need help, ask for it from a mental health professional, a doctor, or a family member. Ask for as much help as you need. It helps to subdue our stress levels, and it is one of the best things we can do, but sometimes we don’t. #9 Prepare For A Good Night’s Sleep. Another way to manage stress with bipolar disorder is to get adequate sleep, which helps me feel refreshed and ready to take on the day. It also helps me manage stress in my daily life much better than I usually would without the proper amount of shut-eye. You’ve got this! If that beach vacay — or even a staycay — isn’t on the hook right now or soon, you can still find stress relief in just a few minutes whenever you need it. Living in a perpetual state of stress isn’t sustainable. So be sure to schedule more prolonged respites too, when you can. Snag 30 minutes to read a good book or grab brunch with your BFFs, whatever gets you to the right level of chill. Caring for our mental health is more important than ever.
Burnout, anxiety, and depression have all been amplified by stressors like the COVID-19 pandemic, financial instability, political unrest, climate change, and so much more. The unprecedented situation we find ourselves in touches the fabric of all our lives—and it’s no surprise that it’s also leading to a mental health crisis. What is a mental health day? Ultimately, it’s what it sounds like: taking the time away from your work or other priorities to take care of yourself. It might mean taking 15 minutes to reset in the middle of a workday for some. For others, it may mean taking an entire day off once a month to recharge and tackle the upcoming weeks better. How do I know if I need one? Burnout isn’t healthy despite how normal it may feel in our #hustleculture. It takes a mental toll and can lead to symptoms that overlap with many mental illnesses. Plus: It’s not sustainable. It’s crucial to take note of signs of burnout, and the earlier, the better. That way, you can take action before you’re in full-blown burnout mode. Sign #1: You’re more disorganized than usual Most of us aren't naturally as organized as Marie Kondo. Still, if you’re usually pretty put together and notice that lately, you've been losing track of tasks or your bedroom floor's become a tornado of clothing, it may be a clue that you need a break. When running on fumes, you're not at peak functioning, and it’s easier to make small mistakes or become less organized. Sign #2: You’re exhausted all the time If you find that for several days in a row, you’re struggling with insomnia, have trouble getting out of bed each morning, or still feel tired even when you get enough sleep, it could be your brain’s way of sending out a warning that something’s amiss and you need some time off. If this is the case, it may be time to take a few days away from your duties to disconnect and ramp up the self-care and possibly even evaluate how your job or current lifestyle fits into your life. Sign #3: You’re overly emotional Similarly, if you find yourself tearing up at work over a personal issue, it could indicate that something’s off regarding your mental health. Our emotions can drive our functional abilities at work. These limits in our functional abilities can guide our thoughts and feelings and heighten them. When your emotions are magnified or seem uncontrollable, taking a day to refresh can be vital to setting things right — as can getting professional help if you think that isn't enough. Sign #4: You're fighting with everyone Even the most easygoing of their friends or co-workers can get impatient or testy when they need time off. If you’re becoming snappy or snarky with the people around you, it may take a day to decompress. Pay close attention to how you react to situations and people — say, if you curse during a meeting when you usually wouldn't or shout at an employee instead of speaking calmly. Sign #5: You're having trouble concentrating When a task that usually takes just a few minutes ends up taking you an hour or a project you hand in is covered in mistakes you'd otherwise catch, it could mean you need a break from your daily grind. Cognitively, when we’re feeling burnt out, we can have difficulty concentrating and memory. As a result, our thoughts can feel either too slow or too fast, making mental errors on routine tasks. A mental health day can help boost your concentration and get you back to normal. Sign #6: You're feeling physically sick Everyone reacts to stress differently, but many people experience physiological responses when their mental health needs tuning up. For example, note if you feel increased muscle tension or have more frequent headaches. Or, perhaps you have an upset stomach, notice muscle cramps, or feel more fatigued. Of course, these kinds of problems can be signs of a physical illness, but if you've ruled that out, consider that they may instead be tied to your mental well-being and indicate that something’s wrong. Sign #7: Other people notice that you're not yourself Sometimes, we’re just not great at self-assessment, so if the people around you begin making comments — such as seeing if you need help or asking if you’re doing OK — it may mean it’s time to be more present and see how you’re feeling. No one can run at full speed all the time; though that may be an expectation you have for yourself, it’s unattainable. How to ask for a mental health day If you're worried that your boss will judge you because of the request, there is no mandate that you tell your employer it is a ‘mental health day.' Instead, you can ask for a personal, sick, or vacation day, which tends to have less stigma yet serve a similar function. Taking the day off to rest, recuperate, gain composure, hydrate, eat well, and get our bodies — and minds — back to top functioning shape is no different than taking a sick day. You could say: “I want to finish this project and have it succeed; I need a day to step away from the challenges and focus on the possibilities.” Or, “I need a break, and I want to take one before I break. So I am taking tomorrow off and will return ready to find the solutions we need.” Once you've approved your request, please don't worry about the work you're missing. Instead, make sure to take it off — no phone calls from work and no emails either. Instead of working, do the things that recharge your energy. It could be sleeping, taking a long walk, an afternoon of retail therapy, and lunch. The goal is to relax and savor every moment of your time off; the alarm clock will go out again tomorrow. You can also figure out how you need the day off during your time off or shortly afterward. That can mean creating an action plan for prioritizing your mental health going forward or talking about your stress with a friend or therapist. Hopefully, you should feel more rested and energized when you return to work. However, if your job continues to harm your mental health, it might be time to re-evaluate your situation and find a better fit path. I’ve been trying to keep track of therapy notes to collect the best tips I’ve received in the last three years. Please note that these aren't medical recommendations. Be sure to check with a mental health professional if you’re amidst a mental health crisis.
#1 Know that it's OK not to be OK right now. Permit yourself to feel like crap, don't feel guilty about it. No one expects you to be on top of the world every single moment. #2 Know that you can't change a situation by worrying. Overthinking something you can't do anything about can't change the outcome anyway, so it's of no use. #3 Don't always listen to the voice in your head. Just because you had a cripplingly negative thought about yourself doesn't mean it's true. #4 Know that you deserve to get help. I've struggled with feeling like my mental health issues aren't that bad, which has very much affected how and when I seek treatment. First, my therapist told me that my symptoms matter and deserve treatment no matter how mild or severe. Then, I got told that I deserved, for example, help, which changed how I viewed my mental health entirely. #5 Don't feel ashamed or weak for needing medication. If you had diabetes, would you think yourself weak for using insulin? Of course not. If you need psychiatric medication, it is for an exact medical condition that just happens to be in your brain, not your pancreas. So don’t feel ashamed or weak or guilty. Just do what you need to keep yourself healthy. #6 Don't stop your medication without talking to your doctor. Take your fucking meds. I often think that this muted version of myself is too dull and want to go off my medication. Don’t do it. It will start great, and creativity will come back in, but it will turn into racing thoughts, paranoia, and delusions. So remember, just take the fucking meds. #7 Track data to help you identify patterns in how you're feeling day to day. I track myself: sleep, food, mood, activity, medications, and significant events. It helps me see connections between my mental state and other variables in my life, making better choices for my mental health or identifying the impact of changes. #8 Express gratitude. It's impossible to feel 100% negative when you make a note of everything you're grateful for. Even if you can't think of much, the act of looking makes you feel better. #9 Remember that no one is judging you as much as you are. No one is ever thinking about you as much as you believe they are because everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. So take care of yourself, and not the you that you feel you're perceived as. #10 Get into journaling. Keeping a journal during my recovery helped me keep track of how I was doing at that moment. It was an excellent reminder to take the process one day at a time. #11 Know that mental healthcare isn't one-size-fits-all. 50% of success comes from good medications, but you cannot rely on meds alone. The other 50% comes from the mental effort and positive thinking you have to do every day, whether going to counselling or being an active leader of your life choices and thoughts. It made me realise I couldn't succeed by sitting in the backseat and just taking meds. I had to put in mental effort every day to gain success and be mentally healthy. #12 Allow yourself to feel your feelings. The best piece of advice I received when I was going through a rough time in my life was simply to feel what I was feeling, not to cover it up or try to be strong, but just to allow myself to feel. Even if it hurt, even if I didn't want to face it, but to just let it happen, it’s a very natural and therapeutic way to cope with mental health issues or simply anything complicated that comes your way. Allow yourself to feel. It took me years to see a psychologist. I can’t stress enough how important it is to seek help. It isn’t by any means easy, and it might take a few sessions with different people to feel right, but it will be worth it. Now, after three years with my excellent psychologist, I honestly think that if I hadn’t had the support to seek help, I wouldn’t be here today. In October 2018, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type I after a massive mixed episode with psychotic features. I took a couple of months of break from my freelance work as a communications consultant to take the time to recover fully. When I felt ready, I took on a couple of projects, much less than my usual workload. I was still recovering and wanted to take the time to understand my diagnosis better. I also now had a secret: I have a mental illness like millions of other humans from around the planet.
The most frustrating thing isn’t even that I have to live with a mental illness. No, the most frustrating part of my situation is that I can count on one hand the number of people who know about my mental illness. The stigma surrounding mental health is suffocating, and I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with most of my friends and family, and certainly not with freelance clients. But my illness is a massive part of my daily life. To manage my illness, I go to therapy every week and make sure I go to my psychiatrist every other month after work—often rescheduling and putting it off a week because a meeting or conference call comes up. I mainly just want to tell my friends. I feel awkward even around my close friends who do know. They get quiet and nod their heads, trying to understand—and I love them for that. But from the outside, they can’t fully understand. I’m 35, and after many trials and tribulations as a freelancer, I now have a full-time job at an excellent company. I come from a nice neighborhood. I lead what appears to be a typical thirtysomething life. But how could everything not be perfect? My doctor said I need to see this like having diabetes—it is a lifelong chronic illness that I just have to manage. Instead of insulin, it’s daily meds, therapy, ensuring I get enough sleep, avoiding alcohol, and limiting high-stress situations. For example, when I go to work dinners, it’s awkward not to partake in the drinking going around—I often end up drinking at least one glass, even knowing that it could set off a hypomanic or depressive episode. The constant balancing act of managing my illness and keeping people from knowing about it creates stress, further compounding the issue. I was lucky to sit down with my boss and explain my illness, the precautions I needed to take, and how lessening that stress would make me a better employee. As a result, I have thrived at my job in the last three years, taken on new responsibilities, got promoted, and managed a growing team with the constant support and open communication established with my boss. Some of the things that have helped me stay focused and productive in this new world include: #1 Following a routine Managing the anxiety associated with bipolar is best approached by limiting the number of daily decisions. Having a repetitive work structure is one way of doing that. #2 Setting realistic expectations Try this exercise: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that will happen if I don’t complete this assignment? What’s the best thing that will happen if I do?” Reality usually lies in between the best- and worst-case scenarios. #3 Celebrating your wins Instead of rushing from one task to the next when you’re energized, it’s essential to pause and celebrate when you accomplish something. #4 Taking more breaks Develop specific practices that will help you relax. For example, take up a hobby: yoga, gardening, or painting. Better yet, plan a vacation — even if it’s a staycation. #5 Asking for support when you need it This is the oldest piece of advice there is when it comes to managing bipolar. It might be more challenging to connect with friends and family during lockdowns, but it’s more important than ever that you try. Let’s do what we can around bipolar and find a way to work that allows for stability in our finances, relationships, and life overall. Please remember that all people with severe health conditions must find this work/life balance. We must find a way to work while also working on our health. Let’s celebrate when we get things done! Due to the constant mood changes of bipolar disorder, one might find it difficult to progress with everyday activities. Even though there is no cure for bipolar disorder, you can keep the condition under control through a combination of medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes. It is essential for the person who has bipolar disorder to build healthy habits and effectively manage their mood. Stress reduction is also crucial, as chronic stress is a major contributive factor to the episodes of depression. I’ve picked these apps to help me track, understand, or control my mood a bit better, so I can live a healthier, more balanced life. eMoods eMoods is a mood tracker built for people with bipolar disorder. To capture your daily highs and lows, the app prompts you to track depressive symptoms, psychotic symptoms, irritability, and elevated mood throughout the day, including an estimate of severity for each. Your input gets summarised in colour code on a monthly calendar, giving you an easy snapshot of your mood changes. The app also lets you view and export a monthly summary report, which you can email to your healthcare team to help them identify your specific triggers and improve your care. stoic stoic.’s goal is to help users manage their mental health by providing mood tracking, journaling, and meditation tools. The tools are based on cognitive behavioural therapy, as interpreted by Stoicism, an ancient school of philosophy. The app personalises the user’s tasks with assessments of their feelings (ranges from excellent to angry) and activities the user may have enjoyed (e.g. work, fitness, date, nature, etc.) at the beginning and end of every day. The app also provides the user with journal prompts and quotes from Stoic philosophers to reflect on. The app keeps track of the activities completed by the user in the “trends” section. Users also can go directly into exercises that interest them, such as “visualization”, focus, thoughts, goals, etc. Pillow There are several popular sleep tracking apps on the App Store, but Pillow is, without a doubt, one of the best. The free app tracks sleep quality in great detail and even records audio and heart rate data. When activated, Pillow will monitor your sleep overnight and provide a breakdown of sleep quality the following day. The app offers information on periods of waking, REM, light sleep, and deep sleep using a colour graphic that is easy to read and interpret. Insight Timer Insight Timer is a comprehensive meditation app. It boasts the world’s most extensive library of free meditations that are instantly available to anyone with a smartphone or computer. Meditation offers many benefits to our mental health and overall wellbeing, but it can be challenging to do without support. Insight Timer provides that support. Down dog Between Down Dog Yoga's customizability and its endless configurations, the app makes it tough to get bored regardless of your skill level. Rather than choosing from many pre-recorded videos, Down Dog has over 60,000 configurations of sessions that it mixes up for you each time. Then, all you have to do is fill out your preferences and hit start. The list doesn't end here. So many other apps can prove to be a helping hand while undergoing treatment for bipolar disorder. These apps assist in tracking your emotions, let you stay organised with your treatment and routine while optimising your daily habits. So, get going by downloading the app that you think can turn out beneficial for you.
And above all, be optimistic that the treatments and your efforts of fighting this disorder will pay off pretty soon. Even in the best of times, we have felt anxious at some point. But people with bipolar disorder and anxiety may have a significantly harder time, especially during the COVID pandemic and even more so in countries such as Lebanon with economic and monetary collapse. Anxiety is an all-too-common occurrence as we collectively worry about the future, our livelihoods, our health, and the health of our loved ones. And although anxiety can be on a spectrum from feeling anxious to have a diagnosable disorder, either can trigger mood episodes, such as mania and depression, in people with bipolar disorder.
Bipolar depression and anxiety bring out the worst in each other, making things very difficult if you deal with both conditions. These two co-occurring disorders create undesirable effects that interfere with life, such as:
Some days are more complicated than others, but you can try to manage anxiety so your emotions don’t become overwhelming. Ultimately, some of the strategies shared in this blog post won’t eliminate your stress, but they can make anxiety easier to handle when you have bipolar disorder. At least, they’ve helped in my daily struggle with anxiety. #1 Do your best to follow a routine. People diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety will benefit from routine structure. You can create a reassuring system by reducing the multitude of decision points in a day. Designate specific times to eat, sleep, exercise, and relax. Keeping to a routine allows you to feel more in control at a time when control is generally lacking. It also makes it easier to maintain habits that help you avoid mood episodes. One of the most critical routines is to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. Healthy sleeping habits defy manic episodes. #2 Schedule 15 minutes a day to write down your worries. Spend 15 minutes everyday journaling. Write down your worry statements and everything that induces anxiety. The more you do this, the better you get at redirecting your mind from that spiral of anxious thoughts. Bonus: Write down 3 things you are grateful for to remember all the good stuff in your life. #3 Challenge anxious thoughts with facts. This one can be tough, but it really helps to challenge yourself. Try looking for proof that a particular outcome you’re worried about will actually occur. It’s easy to spiral and think you suck, might lose your job, and won’t ever find another job because you’re not employable. That’s catastrophizing. Stop and ask yourself if you have proof to support those thoughts. Has your boss said that you’re doing a lousy job? Ask yourself if these thoughts are helpful. Ask your boss for feedback. Challenge yourself. #4 Find a mentally consuming distraction. It is very easy to get distracted when you’re anxious. Imagine reading about the catastrophic monetary rate in the black market this morning, and you start worrying that you’ll face difficulties. You might start thinking that your entire family will suffer from this. From there, you embrace the problems of the whole nation in your tiny head. Catastrophizing, the process of thinking about the worst possible outcome, can only introduce more stressful scenarios. Instead, try distracting yourself with a task that requires some focus. Inject yourself with some mindfulness, even just playing a video game. Mindfulness isn’t just sitting calmly. You can be mindful while reading a book, taking a shower, or painting your nails. #5 Share your cope-ahead plan with someone in your inner circle. Create a plan outlining what you’ll do in case of relapse. Share it with your friends and loved ones so they can remind you of your strategies when you need them. Be concrete about what you want them to do when you ask for help. If you know that sleeping less triggers your manic episodes, then you might ask this person to encourage you to contact your therapist when this happens. #6 Limit your alcohol consumption. I suck at this one. I drink to dull my worries, but alcohol can directly trigger bipolar episodes. I tried to avoid keeping alcohol in the house, but I ended up ordering from my favorite bartenders. Admittedly, I don’t drink too much, but I do drink every day. My therapist says it’s OK to have some coping strategy during these extraordinary times and not to judge my mental health based on these. #7 Know when to ask for help. In February, my therapist took a break to work on her thesis. During this time, my country was under a severe 24h lockdown. The lack of sunlight exposure, combined with the lack of social interaction, in addition to the high demand and pressure of my remote job, triggered my anxiety in all different kinds of ways. I tried all of the above strategies to alleviate the symptoms to no avail. One evening, I desperately wrote to my therapist, asking for her advice and support. Ultimately, the help of the people surrounding me keeps me going and grounds me. Thankful for so many that will recognize themselves in this message. |
AuthorI was born in 1986 in Lebanon. I'm still trying to find my passion in life and in the meantime I'm learning to navigate my bipolarity and redefining stability. Archives
February 2024
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