I’ve been trying to keep track of therapy notes to collect the best tips I’ve received in the last three years. Please note that these aren't medical recommendations. Be sure to check with a mental health professional if you’re amidst a mental health crisis.
#1 Know that it's OK not to be OK right now. Permit yourself to feel like crap, don't feel guilty about it. No one expects you to be on top of the world every single moment. #2 Know that you can't change a situation by worrying. Overthinking something you can't do anything about can't change the outcome anyway, so it's of no use. #3 Don't always listen to the voice in your head. Just because you had a cripplingly negative thought about yourself doesn't mean it's true. #4 Know that you deserve to get help. I've struggled with feeling like my mental health issues aren't that bad, which has very much affected how and when I seek treatment. First, my therapist told me that my symptoms matter and deserve treatment no matter how mild or severe. Then, I got told that I deserved, for example, help, which changed how I viewed my mental health entirely. #5 Don't feel ashamed or weak for needing medication. If you had diabetes, would you think yourself weak for using insulin? Of course not. If you need psychiatric medication, it is for an exact medical condition that just happens to be in your brain, not your pancreas. So don’t feel ashamed or weak or guilty. Just do what you need to keep yourself healthy. #6 Don't stop your medication without talking to your doctor. Take your fucking meds. I often think that this muted version of myself is too dull and want to go off my medication. Don’t do it. It will start great, and creativity will come back in, but it will turn into racing thoughts, paranoia, and delusions. So remember, just take the fucking meds. #7 Track data to help you identify patterns in how you're feeling day to day. I track myself: sleep, food, mood, activity, medications, and significant events. It helps me see connections between my mental state and other variables in my life, making better choices for my mental health or identifying the impact of changes. #8 Express gratitude. It's impossible to feel 100% negative when you make a note of everything you're grateful for. Even if you can't think of much, the act of looking makes you feel better. #9 Remember that no one is judging you as much as you are. No one is ever thinking about you as much as you believe they are because everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. So take care of yourself, and not the you that you feel you're perceived as. #10 Get into journaling. Keeping a journal during my recovery helped me keep track of how I was doing at that moment. It was an excellent reminder to take the process one day at a time. #11 Know that mental healthcare isn't one-size-fits-all. 50% of success comes from good medications, but you cannot rely on meds alone. The other 50% comes from the mental effort and positive thinking you have to do every day, whether going to counselling or being an active leader of your life choices and thoughts. It made me realise I couldn't succeed by sitting in the backseat and just taking meds. I had to put in mental effort every day to gain success and be mentally healthy. #12 Allow yourself to feel your feelings. The best piece of advice I received when I was going through a rough time in my life was simply to feel what I was feeling, not to cover it up or try to be strong, but just to allow myself to feel. Even if it hurt, even if I didn't want to face it, but to just let it happen, it’s a very natural and therapeutic way to cope with mental health issues or simply anything complicated that comes your way. Allow yourself to feel. It took me years to see a psychologist. I can’t stress enough how important it is to seek help. It isn’t by any means easy, and it might take a few sessions with different people to feel right, but it will be worth it. Now, after three years with my excellent psychologist, I honestly think that if I hadn’t had the support to seek help, I wouldn’t be here today.
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In October 2018, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type I after a massive mixed episode with psychotic features. I took a couple of months of break from my freelance work as a communications consultant to take the time to recover fully. When I felt ready, I took on a couple of projects, much less than my usual workload. I was still recovering and wanted to take the time to understand my diagnosis better. I also now had a secret: I have a mental illness like millions of other humans from around the planet.
The most frustrating thing isn’t even that I have to live with a mental illness. No, the most frustrating part of my situation is that I can count on one hand the number of people who know about my mental illness. The stigma surrounding mental health is suffocating, and I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with most of my friends and family, and certainly not with freelance clients. But my illness is a massive part of my daily life. To manage my illness, I go to therapy every week and make sure I go to my psychiatrist every other month after work—often rescheduling and putting it off a week because a meeting or conference call comes up. I mainly just want to tell my friends. I feel awkward even around my close friends who do know. They get quiet and nod their heads, trying to understand—and I love them for that. But from the outside, they can’t fully understand. I’m 35, and after many trials and tribulations as a freelancer, I now have a full-time job at an excellent company. I come from a nice neighborhood. I lead what appears to be a typical thirtysomething life. But how could everything not be perfect? My doctor said I need to see this like having diabetes—it is a lifelong chronic illness that I just have to manage. Instead of insulin, it’s daily meds, therapy, ensuring I get enough sleep, avoiding alcohol, and limiting high-stress situations. For example, when I go to work dinners, it’s awkward not to partake in the drinking going around—I often end up drinking at least one glass, even knowing that it could set off a hypomanic or depressive episode. The constant balancing act of managing my illness and keeping people from knowing about it creates stress, further compounding the issue. I was lucky to sit down with my boss and explain my illness, the precautions I needed to take, and how lessening that stress would make me a better employee. As a result, I have thrived at my job in the last three years, taken on new responsibilities, got promoted, and managed a growing team with the constant support and open communication established with my boss. Some of the things that have helped me stay focused and productive in this new world include: #1 Following a routine Managing the anxiety associated with bipolar is best approached by limiting the number of daily decisions. Having a repetitive work structure is one way of doing that. #2 Setting realistic expectations Try this exercise: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that will happen if I don’t complete this assignment? What’s the best thing that will happen if I do?” Reality usually lies in between the best- and worst-case scenarios. #3 Celebrating your wins Instead of rushing from one task to the next when you’re energized, it’s essential to pause and celebrate when you accomplish something. #4 Taking more breaks Develop specific practices that will help you relax. For example, take up a hobby: yoga, gardening, or painting. Better yet, plan a vacation — even if it’s a staycation. #5 Asking for support when you need it This is the oldest piece of advice there is when it comes to managing bipolar. It might be more challenging to connect with friends and family during lockdowns, but it’s more important than ever that you try. Let’s do what we can around bipolar and find a way to work that allows for stability in our finances, relationships, and life overall. Please remember that all people with severe health conditions must find this work/life balance. We must find a way to work while also working on our health. Let’s celebrate when we get things done! |
AuthorI was born in 1986 in Lebanon. I'm still trying to find my passion in life and in the meantime I'm learning to navigate my bipolarity and redefining stability. Archives
February 2024
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