A bipolar vacation

Photo by Mark Daynes on Unsplash

It has been a long time since I have written a blog post.

Since the pandemic started, I have kept sticking to a schedule. I created routines for my mornings, afternoons, and evenings and followed them to the letter. I read, learned, worked, listened to my podcasts, attended therapy, kept to a regular sleep routine, and religiously took my meds, and in the process, I have done immensely well. Despite the world's COVID crisis and my country's economic collapse, I have been thriving. 

When I started this blog, I intended to find content that could be helpful for people diagnosed with bipolar disorder and seeking stability. My goal is to find and describe the tools that are useful in maintaining stability for the long term. As I work my way through my quest for stability, I keep discovering helpful and valuable things in this challenging adventure. 

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way is that allowing ourselves to live is ok. Bipolar disorder is not a life sentence nor the sword of Damocles. It’s a diagnosis that can be managed with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes. 

My therapist jokes that I ask the same question at every session: What if another episode happens? But the truth is, there is no chance of any episode happening as long as I keep doing what has been working for the last year. I must learn to stop being constantly afraid and allow myself to live again. We are entitled to feel things intensely. That is not a sign of the onset of a crisis.

I realized I had to work on letting go. I stopped writing in this blog for this very reason. For three months, every Saturday, I dedicated my afternoons to researching a topic related to bipolar stability. It had become a massive part of my life. Instead, every Saturday has been dedicated to life for the past few weeks. Life splashing in a pool with my nephew. Life, sitting under a tree on a mountain. Life, shopping around for clothes, gifts, and fun stuff. I took a break from a project that’s important to me. Ultimately, I want to come back to this blog and find more ways to help other people with bipolar disorder, but for now, I’m just enjoying life a little.

​Sometimes, I’ll be so enthralled in an activity that, for a few hours, I’ll even forget that I’ve been diagnosed. I feel like myself again, my old self, improved with the right combination of medication.