My continuous journey to recovery

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

I was diagnosed in 2018.

It took a few months to manage the ebbs and flows of my mind, body, and life. But it wasn’t until the pandemic began that I started to feel recovered. 

First, I think it’s important to define “recovery.” For me, the most realistic definition is that I’m spending more time living my life than managing bipolar disorder. 

I often tell people that when it comes to reaching recovery with bipolar disorder, the only important thing is that you are making consistent progress. My second piece of advice is that there is no time limit. It will take as long as it takes, but if you focus on moving forward daily, I believe everyone can get there.

All of that said, it is reassuring to see progress. It’s easier to accomplish anything the second time around. It’s not about knowledge or experience, either. It’s about having the confidence of knowing you can do it. Experiencing success is a powerful motivator.

My success indicators are simple things, like taking medications as prescribed, making appointments with my treatment team, and arriving on time for these appointments. While I agree these aren’t exciting, establishing this track record is much more progress than people realize.

The reality is that living well with bipolar disorder means consistently doing typical everyday tasks. Many of those tasks are mundane and boring. However, it’s essential to realize that you're doing well if you are successful at life’s minutiae.

Recovery from mental illness is more than just taking your meds. But unfortunately, people seem to believe that the meds did all the hard work. I agree that medication helps to settle the ‘biological chaos,’ but it doesn’t fix my problem. It doesn’t change the way I think or the way I behave. That’s still down to me. 

Let’s make no mistake. I would not have had any sort of stable life I have without my meds. They have helped me excel at work, maintain happy and healthy relationships, and give me back some form of sleeping pattern and partial control over my disorder. But the hard work was still mine.

Recovery means staying aware of your mental health. No one knows more than you when something is off. Be brave enough to influence your treatment and advocate for yourself: speak to your doctors about what works and doesn’t. Tell your friends and family about how they can help you. Tell someone when you have a bad day. Learn your triggers and make others aware of them.

Your recovery might look different from someone else’s, but it’s still bloody fantastic. Comparison is a fucking killer. We’ve all done it. Just because someone looks like they’re doing excellent doesn’t mean they are. So stay in your lane, and focus on your goals.

Recovery is learning to spot your warning signs. It is not always easy to know what you are feeling, especially as it’s happening, and put it into words – but try to recognize how you are feeling and any signs that lead to you feeling unwell. It can be helpful when seeking support.

Recovery is learning to put yourself first. I have left jobs and cut off friends if I believed it was affecting my mental health. You will always be your longest commitment – it is a significant relationship to have with yourself. So what if things haven’t gone the way you planned, the new way things are doesn’t match the plan you had for your life? It’s your life now, and you can make it whatever you want. Things will always be okay.

Recovery is taking steps to increase your self-esteem. Believe you deserve happiness, that you matter, and that you are good enough. Take time for yourself until you feel like yourself. Move past the mistakes you’ve made. Recognize what you are good at and why you have worth. Recovery is knowing that the world is a better place with you in it. I can promise you now that no one else quite like you, and it makes the world a better place with you in it.

The goal is to manage the illness in a way that allows for fewer mood swings in terms of duration and intensity. This is our success. Work on having a plan that is stronger than mood swings.