I have anxiety. I bury myself in work and after-work activities to cope. I've organized and reorganized everything in my physical and digital space countless times to tame and distract.
This is even more exacerbated by the fear, trauma, and terror that most of the region is currently experiencing. I scroll from website to website, feed to feed, my eyes forever imprinted with unspeakable horrors while every cell in my body breaks in pain. So, I bury myself in work. I credit my therapist for teaching me to explore stillness. To sit with it and listen. To feel my feels. To let the sadness wash over. To let anger out. To allow disgust to grip my gut. Because it needs to be felt. Not stored, or buried, or suppressed, or ignored. It needs to be. My anxiety wasn't just a nuisance; it held significance, and understanding it could eventually help me ease that nagging anxiety for the long term. In today's fast-paced world, emotional challenges lurk around every corner. The relentless pressure to succeed, the need to "keep up," the fear of missing out, and the quest for fulfilling relationships and job satisfaction can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. Deep down, we all hold a treasure trove of emotions. Emotions such as sadness, fear, anger, joy, excitement, sexual excitement, and disgust are hardwired into our brains and bodies for a valid reason – they equip us to survive and thrive. However, modern society offers no safe space to openly explore and express our emotions. This glaring omission leaves a mark on us and our well-being. Ironically, what society predominantly teaches us isn't how to engage with our emotions but how to suppress and evade them. We've become quite adept at these maneuvers: Whether through alcohol, prescription medications, or endless screen time, we've perfected numerous ways to evade our feelings. And when we do acknowledge them, we often swat them away with mantras ingrained in us since childhood – "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," "Get a grip," "Suck it up." However, suppressing emotions is detrimental to our mental and physical health. It's akin to stepping on the gas and the brakes of our car simultaneously, creating an internal pressure cooker. Our society conveys explicit and subtle messages encouraging us to dismiss, invalidate, bury, and suppress our emotions – but this approach is misguided. When we repress our emotions and stay stuck in our heads, we squander precious energy that could be channeled toward leading more fulfilling lives. Conditions like anxiety, depression, and other diagnoses, such as PTSD and personality disorders, often stem from the suppression of emotions. In response to overwhelming emotional pain, our minds and bodies develop various coping strategies, and these defenses and symptoms often intersect. What's imperative is learning to validate our emotions and discern the most effective ways to harness them. Personally, when I discovered that my anxiety concealed deeper emotions like fear, sadness, excitement, and joy, it was a game-changer. Recognizing and addressing these underlying emotions significantly reduced my anxiety. For instance, when I felt "overlooked" or mistreated by someone, I could process my anger and transform it into assertiveness. But I also had the choice to process my anger and decide not to react. If you've ever battled depression or anxiety, you might instinctively shield yourself from the discomfort of your sadness, anger, or fear. Consciously or not, you may believe that avoiding these "negative" emotions can prevent the resurgence of depression or anxiety. Yet, treating your emotions as threats and systematically evading them can be counterproductive. Rather than facing your sadness or anger, you end up wrestling with an amorphous "bad feeling" that feels overwhelming and unending. Imagine that you're on board with embracing your emotions and recognizing their worth. In the early stages, when you attempt to connect with emotions you've long avoided, your body resists, and the intensity may feel daunting. That's when patience becomes your ally. By breathing through it and using grounding techniques, your body can learn that tolerating these intense emotions is okay. Over time, when emotions surface, you can navigate through them with the understanding that these feelings are transient and, ultimately, liberating. Rather than forcefully suppressing your emotions as they emerge, can you gently welcome them and sit with them? Acknowledging your feelings will not pave the way to depression or anxiety. With a sense of safety and grounding, confronting your emotions leads to clarity and peace. Emotions are an integral part of our existence. They can't be stopped or prevented. Our power lies in the choice of how we respond to these emotions. This choice, repeated multiple times each day, holds immense significance. In my work to improve my mental health, I often observe that I – much like most – tend to evade painful or conflicting emotions because that's the societal lesson. Yet, for the mind to heal, we must confront the feelings intertwined with our stories – and these emotions reside within our bodies. By understanding the automatic nature of emotions and discovering the core emotions concealed beneath our anxiety, we're better equipped to function and feel more fulfilled.
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AuthorI was born in 1986 in Lebanon. I'm still trying to find my passion in life and in the meantime I'm learning to navigate my bipolarity and redefining stability. Archives
February 2024
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