Emotions in the workplace and how to manage them

Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash

The future of work is emotional. 

If there’s one thing I learned in my current workplace, we are better employees when we bring our whole selves to work. Effectively embracing emotions is essential for a better workplace. It isn’t an invitation to be a feelings firehose but rather an invitation to start moving away from the idea that professionalism means suppressing any emotion by acknowledging that we’re all emotional creatures, both in and out of the office. 

We all have emotions; some of us have been taught to express them more, and some haven’t. The trick is to figure out how to harness the power of the emotions within us. For example, we believe that women are more emotionally in tune with their feelings, and there is some biological evidence. However, this is rapidly changing as gender becomes more fluid. 

Is it even possible to be "too emotional"? Or is this a criticism leveled by people who cannot deal with emotion in themselves or feel the need to repress it?

Unmatched expectations, anxiety about our value and performance, overthinking, ambiguous communication, insufficient direction, unclear motivation, and an absence of work-life balance make us emotional. All of them can stem from or be amplified by situations at work.

So what can we do about it?

First, it's essential to acknowledge that emotions can never be wrong. For example, displaying them in the middle of a board meeting may be inappropriate, but there is nothing to be gained from being shamed for feeling them. 

Next, recognize that there is no "fix" for how someone feels. It isn't always possible to change the situation that has caused the feeling, so you need to be comfortable doing something that most of us find extremely hard: passive listening.

Sitting and listening to someone tell you how they feel without you talking, counter-arguing, or grasping for a solution is what people need. There is enormous healing in simply being heard and acknowledged.

In short, developing and cultivating emotional intelligence in the workplace is the key to unlocking everyone’s human potential.

One definition of emotional intelligence is someone’s ability to perceive, understand, and manage feelings and emotions. It is vitally important in the workplace because it is linked to higher job satisfaction and is strongly associated with job performance. 

Emotional intelligence is often measured by looking at the following traits or characteristics:

• Emotional stability (more significant ability to manage their own emotions and tolerate stress)
• Conscientiousness (tendency to be diligent, hardworking, and control impulses)
• Extraversion (a personality trait that makes people more open and better at establishing relationships with others)
• Ability EI (individuals’ ability to perform emotion-related behaviors, like expressing emotions, empathizing with others, and combining emotion with reasoning)
• Cognitive ability (IQ; studies suggest there is at least some overlap between IQ and EQ)
• General self-efficacy (confidence in the ability to cope with the demands of our job)
• Self-rated job performance

Some of the things that we can do to increase our emotional intelligence include:

#1 Becoming more self-aware
Pay attention to how you feel throughout your day and notice how your emotions contribute to your decisions and actions.
Could you identify and understand your emotional strengths and weaknesses?
Understand that emotions can be fleeting and easily changed.

#2 Practicing self-regulation
Find techniques to help you deal with work-related stress, like hobbies, exercise, meditation, etc.
Try to accept reality and keep a cool head when work gets crazy.
Give yourself time to think and plan before making decisions-especially big decisions.

#3 Improving your social skills
Listen actively and attentively to your managers, coworkers, and peers.
Keep an eye out for nonverbal communication.
Work on your persuasion and influencing skills.
Gossip, but could you step in to handle conflict when appropriate and necessary?

#4 Becoming more empathetic
Put yourself in their shoes-at work and in your personal life.
Pay attention to your responses to others.

#5 Working on your motivation
You can focus on what you love about your job rather than what you hate.
Try to maintain a positive, optimistic attitude. 

By understanding the feelings of ourselves and others and allowing this knowledge to enable us to reason and make decisions, we enjoy the unique experience of being human beings.